This morning as we were getting ready to leave for school/work, I put my shoes on and Soren said, “Mommy! You’re a princess!” Then he went to rummage around in his stuff to find his princess watch. (He acquired some princess accoutrements from a friend’s birthday party earlier this year and still has most of them.) He tried to put his princess watch on me but it didn’t fit. So then he found the princess wand pictured above and told me I had to take it to work because I’m a princess. And so it came to be that I have a princess wand at the office today. I will wield it sparingly, I promise.
Update: My Vegan Month turned into My Vegan Half Month. Here’s how it went.
June 2013 will turn out to either be the month I was vegan or my first month as a vegan. Here’s a list of my meals and desserts from that month. Snacks aren’t included. (In case you’re wondering, I eat quite a bit of fruit, usually as snacks.) Beverages aren’t included either (but are pretty much always water, coffee, beer, or homemade green juice).
Note: Most things I eat are organic, but I’m not going to say that all the time because nothing makes you sound like more of an asshole than saying “organic this” and “organic that” all the time.
I’ll include (probably crappy) photos when I have them and links to recipes when possible. If something is from a cookbook, I’ll tell you that.
Welcome to my vegan journey! I hope it’s fun!
(The rest of the post is behind the obnoxious “Continue Reading” link because it’s long.)
Hi! Hope you had an awesome weekend. Let’s get the discussion of my complete and total failure out of the way now, shall we?
What happens at the Gay Pride Parade goes like this, especially where we sit at the very beginning of the route. Everybody in the parade comes by to give you stuff — candy, beads, popsicles, sunglasses, coupons, whatever. All kinds of stuff. It’s pretty much the best thing ever for the kids. I was sitting there, munching away on my vegan mini quiches, when someone from Tony P’s came by with cookies. The cookies looked pretty awesome — they were topped with powdered sugar and pine nuts. They sat in the middle of our blanket, not yet devoured by the children. I can’t eat those, I thought. I’m sure they’re not vegan.
And then a few minutes later I was like OMG these quiches aren’t very filling and these cookies have pine nuts on them and . . . and I ate one. And it was so good I ate another one. And then I thought, shit.
And then I went forth and enjoyed the rest of the day but as I did so, I was nagged by the constant and unrelenting desire for a goddamn pizza with goddamn actual cheese on it.
Our Father’s Day tradition has always involved pizza. So my plan was to get pizza from one of the local joints that offers vegan cheese, and get one regular pizza and one vegan pizza. But as we got closer to Father’s Day, I had to be honest with myself and admit that I don’t really like commercially produced fake cheese products, such as Daiya, which is what’s offered at said establishments. I mean, I liked it at first, or at least I convinced myself that I did because it wasn’t, like, totally awful or anything. But as time went on, I was less and less willing to pretend to like it all that much. And I don’t want to eat pizza without any cheese on it.
And then we decided to make homemade pretzels with vegan cheese sauce instead of getting pizza, but that kind of defeated the purpose of having one goddamn meal we don’t prepare ourselves and had us (predominantly Ben, let’s be honest) in the kitchen instead of doing something else and, well, pretzels aren’t exactly pizza.
And I’m not blaming Father’s Day for my fall from vegan grace. It’s not Father’s Day’s fault — it’s entirely on me. I wanted a goddamn pizza, and a goddamn pizza is what I ate. And I loved every second of it. And I want to say I’m strong enough or committed enough to just go without pizza, but at this point in my life, I’m not.
And I’m starting too many sentences with “and.” Sorry about that. And I’m probably a little defensive, and a little bummed. But honestly, I need to stop obsessing over food every second of every day, which is what it feels like I’ve been doing. For example, I’ve been spending a lot of time sitting in my office and thinking about all the things I can’t eat. So I’m going to call it My Vegan Half Month. I can say that I’ll definitely eat many more vegan meals than I did before this experiment, but I just can’t make the transition right now without going totally nutballs.
And so I don’t have to gaze into the steely little eyeballs of my failure every time I look at my site, I’m going to edit the “My Vegan Half Month” page and turn it into a post.
So that’s the story. And while I’m on the topic of veganism, props to all the actual vegans out there. I admire the hell out of you guys.
Yesterday, we, among other things, worked on hopscotch. Today we enjoyed our usual Father’s Day traditions, which include the Gay Pride Parade (the highlight was when all the leather guys barked at Sadie, who traveled to the event via bicycle), cleaning random stuff around the house (Ben is weird), yard work, City Park Jazz, and pizza.
Recently I learned that one of the best simple pleasures in life is looking at pictures of cute dogs on Instagram. I could never keep up with my own Instagram account, so I made one for Sadie (username = sadiedandelion). It’s great, although now I feel all this pressure to post cute pictures of Sadie all the time. Not that it’s hard to take cute pictures of Sadie, seeing as she’s cute and all, but still.
In honor of Sadie’s birthday tomorrow, I got her a little basket so she can ride around with me on my bicycle (this one, in pink). Yesterday, to introduce her to the basket, I put her in it and walked around the house. That went well, which is encouraging, but I’m sure it’ll be mad crazy chaos as soon as she’s on a bike with her gigantic ears flapping in the breeze.
Speaking of Sadie’s birthday, she’s going to be 5! Crazy. I have no idea why her chin is all gray already. She needs some Just for Dogs hair color.
So I follow this hippie community on Pinterest. It’s mostly relatively inoffensive pictures of skinny white women with long hair wearing clothes I might like. But every few days, we get a photo of a skinny white woman with long hair wearing a Native American headdress. These always get like 872 repins and likes, and I’m always all WTF?
I’m attempting to see the best in people rather than the worst, so I assume this is happening out of ignorance rather than an active desire to be offensive. So I thought I’d make a handy flowchart that will let you know whether it’s okay for you to don a headdress as you go forth to your music festival or whatever other hippie shit you’re doing this weekend.
Hope this helps!
Here is the groundbreaking First Annual Hit by a Pitch Father’s Day Gift Guide.
Oh wait, I totally just failed the internet by not making this a slide show.
Okay, I’m kidding. Do you know what I hate more than gift guides? Heavy shit, like death and illness and war and poverty and crime and goddamn slide shows on the internet. But other than that, not much. Father’s Day gift guides, in particular, are always dumb. Here’s a thing with a tie on it! Here’s something golf-related! Don’t forget some sort of tool! And here’s something that has to do with grilling, whiskey, and/or bacon!
Seriously though, get him some beer. Or if he doesn’t like beer, get him something he does like. Easy enough, right?