Hit By a Pitch

No way, Jose.

Last night while getting ready to go to the Nuggets game, I was watching the Tigers game. I don’t really care about the Tigers, although they are one of the teams I don’t consider my teams, but kind of like anyway (see also Cubs, Angels (who will win the World Series this year), Marlins). I knew it could be Jose Mesa’s Tiger debut — they’d already played two games, but being who he is, Jose Mesa was suspended for the first two games of the year — a suspension that was imposed when he was still with the Rockies and hit San Francisco’s Mark Sweeney with a pitch.

When Mesa came on in the seventh inning, I did my usual routine where I yell “JOSE MESA!!!!” at least ten times (try it — it’s kind of fun). JOSE MESA! This was so exciting — I hadn’t seen him pitch since last September, when I was drunk and at Coors Field, wearing my “What would Jose Mesa do?” t-shirt (yes, I really have a shirt that says “What would Jose Mesa do?” and yes, I know that means there’s something seriously wrong with me) with no coat even though it was really freaking cold and I was probably five minutes from hypothermia.

So the Nuggets game was starting in like 20 minutes and I wasn’t even dressed, but there I was, sitting in the kitchen in front of MLB.TV, which I had only minutes earlier upgraded to the premium version. I mean, it’s Jose Mesa! He’s my favorite, and there he was, playing for a team that doesn’t suck. The only person happier than I was at that moment was Jose Mesa himself, although that’s probably debatable, because it was really freaking cold out there, and I reckon Jose Mesa doesn’t really like the cold.

It went downhill fast. The first guy doubled. There was a triple and a single and two runs scored. They took Mesa out pretty quickly, but the Tigers lost by two. So Jose Mesa is 0-1 for the season, with an ERA of 54. FIFTY-FOUR. Holy shit.

You know, it’s not very often that I find anything remotely nice about Jose Mesa on the internet, unless I wrote it myself (although there is some rousing discussion about his color-coordinated gloves out there). The other day, I found an article about his quest to pitch in 1,000 games, where people who aren’t me or Jose Mesa have good things to say about Jose Mesa. That made me happy, but now I’m just worried. Last night’s game was number 967 of Jose Mesa’s career. I hope it was just a terrible night from which he recovers right away, so 1,000 is possible.