Hit By a Pitch

If Robert Horry isn’t suspended for the rest of the season, I might be done with the NBA.

It’s no secret that I hate the Spurs more than just about anything in sports. On my scale of hatred, I’d rank them as slightly more hateful than the Yankees and slightly less hateful than Barry Bonds.

Last night, while watching the game and yelling and swearing even more than usual, I tried to figure out why I hate the Spurs as much as I do. Sure, I’m still smarting from the way they dismantled the Nuggets — but that’s not really it. There’s something more to it than that.

Then it hit me like Manu hits the floor — I hate the Spurs because they’re pussies.

Sure, the Spurs are known for winning championships, playing killer defense, and being a good team. They’re also known for flopping and whining. What really pisses me off is that this crap, more often than not, works for them. If the Spurs stopped bitching about every single foul and quit flopping, would they be as successful as they are? It’s hard to say, but I doubt it. They seem smart enough that they’d be able to recognize that complaints and flops weren’t getting them anywhere and then develop a new strategy.

Of course, the NBA doesn’t have any rules against flopping and complaining — well, I guess they still have that rule about calling technicals on anybody who complains about a call, but that’s rarely enforced any more. So none of what bugs me so much about the Spurs is against the rules — maybe it shouldn’t bother me. It does bother me, though, because flopping and whining are for pussies, and I hate pussies.

Because I don’t care about the Spurs and only watched them when they played the Nuggets, I wasn’t aware of the more sinister side — what Amare Stoudemire referred to as “dirty” last Thursday. Now that I think about it, though, Stoudemire is right. They are a dirty team. The whining and flopping is nothing more than a technique used to manipulate the referees into giving them what they want. Really, it disgusts me that they get away with it at all. They knee and kick other players — some call it “physical” but there are times it crosses the line into dirty territory.

It crossed into dirty territory last night when Robert “Hit-Man” Horry threw Steve Nash off the court. It was unnecessary, violent, and looked like an action intended to cause injury. Fortunately, it didn’t escalate into a brawl like the Nuggets/Knicks melee earlier this year that resulted in numerous (some ridiculous) suspensions. This incident should result in one suspension — Robert Horry. For the rest of the season.

I don’t want to see any bullshittery that involves suspending players who got up off the bench — mainly Amare Stoudemire (although the Suns claim he was getting ready to check back into the game at the time). No punches were thrown or even threatened and it’s time for the NBA to realize that when shady shit happens on the court, people get mad and react. If no harm comes of it, just let it go. To do otherwise risks legitimizing thuggish on-court behavior as a game tactic (even more than letting Bowen get away with so much crap does).

Of course, I’m biased. I have a new-found love of Amare Stoudemire and want to see him kick some Spurs ass (in a completely non-dirty way, of course) in the next game.