Hit by a Pitch

Hi. I’m not quite ready to start thinking about baseball yet. I probably should be at least a little excited, because my teams played each other today, but eh, it doesn’t count and I’m very busy being mad at the Nuggets (shhhh, don’t tell them I’m watching their game right now).

However, I have a suggestion for Jerry Owens and I want to put it out there right away, so maybe he can find out about it because it’s the best idea anybody has ever had (shhhh, don’t tell anybody I’ve been drinking and totally overestimate the awesomeness of my stupid ideas). Last week, I read about how Jerry Owens is talking some shit about how many bases he’s going to steal this season (the article is here). He plans to rack up 65 stolen bases, putting him ahead of the awesomely speedy Scott Podsednik (I hope we see him in a Rockies uniform this year because having one of my 2005 World Series White Sox players here in Denver is my #2 ultimate dream, ultimate dream #1 being Jon Garland showing up at my house to declare his undying love for me) who stole 59 in 2004-05.

I know — I’m biased because Jerry Owens is a cutie and I just kinda like him. But don’t let that distract you from his awesome attitude. Seriously. Here’s a quote from the article:

My mom always told me to set the goal high and as soon as you get it, set another one. Every year I’ve improved my stolen base total. I had 56 last year combined [with the Sox and Triple-A Charlotte], and this year it’s 65.

How awesome is that? He mentions mom and kicking ass at the same time. I wish he could come play for the Nuggets.

But anyway, if there’s one thing I know well, it’s the at-bat music of Colorado Rockies players. That’s not exactly helpful here, but hey, I’ve tried to learn about at-bat music for the White Sox, although it’s not really that easy when you’re not there to go to White Sox games. Believe it or not, there’s some inaccurate information about baseball entrance music on the internet, so I don’t always trust what I find out there.

Anyway, according to the internet, Jerry Owens had some Dr. Dre music last year. That’s great and I love Dre as much as the next person, but Jerry Owens needs to rethink his musical selection. Here’s the thing. Jerry Owens needs to use the song “Watch My Feet” by Dude N Nem as his at-bat music. Seriously. These guys are from the South Side of Chicago. The song is the best thing I’ve heard in at least a year. For real. Dude (or is that Nem?) even wears a Sox hat in the video. Check it out.

I’m right, aren’t I? And holy crap that makes me miss Chicago. Jerry Owens, I hope you find this. The universe intended this song for you.

Anyway, that’s all I have to say about baseball today. I have to go back to not watching the second half of the Nuggets game.

Julius Hodge left the Adelaide 36ers of Australia and returned to the United States yesterday. According to the 36ers website, Hodge plans to participate in the NBA D-League’s draft. As far as I know, the D-League draft is in November, so this seems like odd timing. In any event, I hope this goes well for him — good luck, Julius!

Also, I’m adding a new guy to the “players we like” roster — Brent Petway of the Idaho Stampede. He seemed like an interesting guy when I saw him at the Stampede/14ers game back in November, like maybe he’d want to hang out with the absent Jamaal Tatum and play jokes on their teammates. How cute is his blog entry (read it here) about the D-League dunk contest, which he won? You can view his profile and access all of his blog posts here.

Dear Denver Nuggets,

We’ve been together for a while now, and as with any relationship, we have our ups and downs. The good times have been amazing, and when you brought me Allen Iverson for my birthday, I thought my love for you would last forever.

Today, though, I’m not so sure. I don’t even have anything to say to you right now. You’ve been letting yourself go. Look at yourself, and look at the Utah Jazz, and tell me why they’re three games ahead of you in the division. That doesn’t even make sense. You looked HOT that night against the Celtics. Then you play down to teams like the Bulls and the Bucks, like you think you’re all that, when in reality you’re the guy who looks kind of hot but then does something really stupid, and I realize that I deserve better.

I’m not trying to harp on your weaknesses or leave you when you’re down, but let’s be honest. You need to figure out who’s going to lead this team. You need to get your free-throw percentage out of the crapper and find some defense. You need some time to get your shit together. You have to work on yourself before you can be in a relationship with any self-respecting fan.

I think maybe I should see other teams. We can do this on a trial basis — you know how Andrei Kirilenko has a sex allowance? I’d like to have a team allowance. For one week per year, I can cheer for another team. This is only reasonable — you have to understand the temptation I’m faced with every day, watching NBA highlights on ESPN and seeing all these teams that actually have a chance of getting past the first round in the playoffs this year.

I hope you’ll use this time to figure out how to fix everything that hasn’t been working for you lately. I’m not saying that we should break up — I just need some space. Maybe I’ll spend some time with Pistons. They’re kind of hot, you know, but you probably don’t want to talk about that. No problem. See you in a week.

Love,
HBP

According to The Philadelphia Inquirer, the Nuggets might be trading Von Wafer for Taurean Green. I haven’t seen this anywhere else, but I’ll see if I can find anything.

Update: According to Kings Blog at the Sacramento Bee, there is no Ron Artest deal.

Update: Damian Wilkins to Denver and Eduardo Najera to Seattle? This is not confirmed. Delonte West was rumored to be coming to Denver, but now it looks like he’s going to Cleveland.

Update: The Rocky Mountain News is reporting that the Wafer/Green deal is close to being official. You heard it here first (unless you’re reading the Philly paper).

Update: Fan 950 confirms Wafer/Green deal. By all accounts, it’s a fascinating deal of players who don’t play. There’s been no more word on a Najera deal.

Update: As far as I can tell, there’s no Najera/Wilkins deal. The Seattle Times latest Sonics trade update mentions a three-way Sonics/Cavs/Bulls deal, but nothing about Najera or Wilkins.

Nothing yet.

Names in the mix right now include Artest, Zach Randolph, Jason Williams, Ricky Davis, and  Delonte West.

Eight minutes to go.