My Boyfriend Jon Garland
I think the reason I haven’t written about sports lately is that I haven’t been drunk or even buzzed since February. February! I’m not saying I need alcohol to write about sports, but I’m definitely more inclined to talk shit when I’m having a couple beers and for me at least, talking shit = talking sports. I haven’t been talking shit lately and, as a result, haven’t been talking about sports. Weak, I know.
However! Something v. exciting is happening in my sports world tomorrow. As you might know, I am deeply in love with MLB pitcher Jon Garland, formerly of the Chicago White Sox and Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (Why don’t they just call them the Anaheim Angels? I mean, they’re one of those teams that isn’t my team but I still like, and even I think “Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim” makes them sound like a bunch of assholes.) currently and unfortunately of the basement-dwelling Arizona Diamondbacks. The last time the D’backs were in town, Jon Garland did not pitch. They’re in town again, and Jon Garland is pitching tomorrow. It just so happens (!) that we have tickets for tomorrow’s game. We don’t usually do day games, but obviously this time will be an exception.
For the first time in my life, I will get to see the man I refer to as “my boyfriend Jon Garland” live and in person. So exciting! I’ve loved him from afar for years and clearly, the fact that he is here and I’m going to the game means our love is meant to be. Did you know that he listens to reggae? It’s true! Does he smoke weed? I have no idea, but more than one person has found my blog by googling that very question.
Of course, I hope the Rockies win the game. I just hope they do it by taking advantage of shoddy pitching from the D’backs’ bullpen and not because of a less-than-stellar performance from the man of my dreams.
This is quite possibly the stupidest post I’ve ever written, which is really saying something. I kind of hate it when women are all gaga over athletes and shit, but I’ll write about it just this once. Jon Garland is my exception.
according to wikipedia:
In 2005, new owner Arte Moreno wanted to include “Los Angeles” in the team’s name, in order to better tap into the Los Angeles media market, the second largest in the country. In compliance with the terms of its lease with the city of Anaheim, which required “Anaheim” be a part of the team’s name, the team was renamed to Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Hotly disputed when initially announced, the change was eventually upheld in court and the city dropped the suit in 2009, though the team usually refers to itself as simply the Angels in its home media market.
i don’t know why, but this makes me really angry for some reason. seriously . . . that is a bunch of bullshit.
in other news, did you know that when you google jon garland, this is the first image that comes up? just sayin’.
h.
July 22, 2009 at 8:16 am
So they ARE a bunch of assholes. Nice. Although I guess they’re no worse than the New England Patriots. WTF is that shit? I guess Foxborough Patriots isn’t cool enough so they have to try to take up an entire region?
Also LOL @ that picture. For the record, in case anybody is wondering, that is not actually Jon Garland. Not that there would be anything wrong with that….
Tracy
July 22, 2009 at 10:31 am
Not that long ago the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim were known as the California Angels
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1995_California_Angels_season
Talk about taking up an entire region.
Amy
July 22, 2009 at 9:04 pm
That’s weird, especially considering that there are other baseball teams in California.
I wonder why some teams are for the whole state as opposed to a city — like, why do we have the Colorado Rockies and Colorado Avalanche? I could probably look that up one of these days.
Tracy
July 23, 2009 at 4:08 pm