Hit by a Pitch


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I am in a foul mood today. I blame it on the following, in no particular order:

  • People who don’t use turn signals while driving. Seriously? You’re an inconsiderate asshole. You should get a ticket and be punched in the face.
  • Facebook apps. Every time I see one, I block it. That doesn’t stop them, though. They just keep coming, like bindweed. (If you don’t know about bindweed, it’s this awful weed we get in Colorado with little morning-glory like flowers and vines that will grow and wrap around good, legitimate plants. The worst part is that each individual bindweed is actually connected to all the other bindweed by a gigantic underground root that you will never be able to destroy, so no matter how many of these bastards you pull out they’ll keep coming back until the end of time.) I don’t care which Mad Men character’s underwear you would be while on a boat with one of the Beatles. (For the record, I don’t care for the Beatles and will never watch Mad Men because I’m so sick of people talking about it. I’ve also vowed to never, ever talk about a tv show (outside of TWOP forums) or movie again, except to maybe talk about Lost once in a while in a sheltered, isolated environment with other annoying people discussing Lost. Talking about tv shows and movies is like talking about your dreams or your kid’s poop — at best, it’s interesting to you and tediously boring to everybody else in the world.) If you’re stupid enough to enjoy Facebook apps, could you at least stop posting their shit every five minutes?
  • People who don’t look where they’re going and try to get on the elevator before you get off and then loudly inhale a big giant loogie.
  • Women who are defensive about their epidural use and/or just bitchy and who say something like any of the following: (1) if declining pain relief is so cool, why don’t you have dental work with no anesthesia; (2) let’s do everything like they did in the old days before medical advances, like poop in the woods; (3) you don’t get a prize for experiencing pain and suffering during childbirth! Seriously, choose your choice and all that, but stop acting like it makes you better than anybody who doesn’t do things the same way.
  • People who equate blunt, TMI-style oversharing with honesty and call it a good thing. There’s some shit you should just keep to yourself or people who really want to hear about it — i.e., not the entire internet.
  • My fantasy football team. I swear I almost had negative points this week. Everybody on my bench was awesome and most of my active players sucked.
  • The White Sox. I’ve seen people with uncombed hair, skid-marked shorts, and ice-cream-stained, oversized t-shirts picking cigarette butts off the ground and smoking them who have given up less than you have.
  • The entire healthcare debacle. I can’t even listen to the discussion any more. I guess there are people in this country who know people are dying because they don’t have access to medical care and are okay with that.
  • Bacon. Enough already. It’s so over.
  • Broncos fans who are really proud of their team being 2-0. The first win was mad, crazy luck. The second win — well, my dog (the little one) could beat the Browns. The defense doesn’t suck as much as it did last year, but this is not a good team.
  • Old-fashioned, grandpa/grandma hipster baby names. I just don’t understand.
  • People who use ultrasound pictures as avatars. I think it’s creepy to use your baby as an avatar ever, but it’s especially creepy before the kid is even born. Don’t even get me started on the 3-D ultrasounds. Those things absolutely terrify me. Maybe you think it’s cool that your kid looks like a half-formed alien made of melting candle wax, but would you please spare the rest of us?
  • Animals who pee on the furniture.
  • And finally me, for being this annoyed by totally stupid shit. I’ll go eat some more pumpkin loaf (the most delicious thing in the entire universe) and get the hell over it already.

Written by Tracy

September 22nd, 2009 at 8:42 pm

Posted in and life

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  1. Here’s a thought about the Broncos being a “bad” team.

    At worst they are stronger, faster, and more talented at every single on-field position but TWO, those two being B. Marsh and Cutler.

    And with Cutler it’s debateable as to how much, if anything, they’ve actually lost.

    There were “experts” predicting they’d win 2 games all season.

    P.S. 2-0 against bad teams is still better than the Bears 1-1 against mediocre teams.


    23 Sep 09 at 11:18 am

  2. I see your point, although I don’t necessarily agree that the Packers and Steelers are mediocre teams (and believe me, it pains me to say that about the Packers). I’m also no big Shannyfan, but I think the team is worse off coach-wise than last year, although that’s based in part on my perhaps irrational hatred of McHoodie.

    WTF are they going to do with B. Marsh?


    23 Sep 09 at 12:48 pm

  3. 3-0 now, and I think they are doing pretty well. It was much better that we all had low expectations :D

    And I’m glad Cutler is gone. He will be an amazing quarterback one day, but he doesn’t fit in with the new team here. And the new team-style was coming; we had no say in that, with the new coach etc.

    McD ‘governs’ his team in a different way, with him at the top and with the whole team kind of on even grounds with each other. Cutler won’t fit in with a team like that; he is the kind of person who wants to be in a hierarchy, right under the coach, above the other guys- which is totally cool, not a negative thing, except this new team isn’t going to be run that way. Marshall is like that, too, but he better get over it if he wants to stay here. He looked a lot more into the game this past week, thank goodness.

    I am still doubtful about the team/coaching, but I’m hoping for the best!! Also, my dad was (is) a Bears fan his whole life, after living in Colorado 20 years he adopted the Broncos as his team, but he is of course still a Bears fan. However, this year I’m going to have trouble rooting for them, as disappointed as that may make him, I just can’t root for that whinny kid…

    Sorry that was so long! I guess I should start my own blog for my silly ramblings, not take up room on yours! I just really wanted to respond to one of the posts, after reading a ton of them last night. I love your blog! I love the Broncos, too- but today is still All-Rockies mindset, destroy the Brewers!!!


    1 Oct 09 at 7:50 am

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