Hit by a Pitch

‘Sup, internet?

So, Ozzie Guillen’s son Oney is on Twitter. He posts awesome tweets:

Get ur own life on track then try and run others. Hater

I hope the dorks aren’t running the organization or else were fucked. 3 geeks who never played baseball a day in there life telling expe …

I love it how people are monitoring my tweets like I’m someone important. Everyone is entitled to there own opinion

@cst_sox and a pic of u in vegas. Would be u and jay m canoddling behind a craps table. Both with ur pasty white culos

I love how cubs fans get excited about beating us in march there so lame it hurts

@cst_sox I disagree I’m not Ben whatever his name is. I act like I have been out before unlikes him

@cst_sox well I’m glad to be a proud member of the cowley fam. But I refuse to watch steelers game and be naked

@cst_sox as long as I’m not from minnesota or steel city I’m fine talk about shitholes

@oguillenjr we run the bases like ass that’s why.

The Guillen family just got screwed over or fucked… but dont worry we have our own way of handling this

My dad just said I belong on sesame street

Dinner for the anniversary time to get drunk and talk about everyone that’s doing Guillens wrong lookout

I just farted and I cleared the house

What’s worst the mexican mariachis? How fucking annoying wow

Great workout today everything was really smooth….why does joey cora insist on working out while wearing what seems to be a latex body sut

I m not only going to kick your ass, but I will give you a hug after

He’s honest, blunt, and hilarious. These are the kinds of tweets I like to read. I like to hear what people really think, rather some over-sanitized PR shit masquerading as substance. In a world where, more and more often, people are afraid to say anything that matters, the kind of stuff Oney posts is refreshing and just plain awesome.

Oney used to work for the White Sox doing video/scouting stuff. Until yesterday when, as Joe Cowley put it, he got “called into the principal’s office because of his Twitter account.” Sox GM Ken Williams, who has been less than thrilled about anyone associated with the team using Twitter, wanted Oney to stop tweeting or tone it down. Oney said (well, I don’t know what he said because I wasn’t there, so I’m just guessing) something like, fuck no, bitches, and resigned. He continues to tweet.

I like face to face conversation or man to man way better than behind your back.

What I hate is people talking about me. Making a big deal. Taking away from how good the Sox can be

Bruce levine is wrong again. About what he wrote on espn.com. Get ur fact straigh buddy I like u. All false his comments

Why do people give a shit about me. I’m not famous at all. Its not important or relevant

Well, people give a shit about you now because you just showed your cojones to the entire internet. You’ve become important and relevant because, when your bosses told you to shut up, you said “no.” That’s pretty bad ass, if you ask me. Talking shit on Twitter isn’t the most important work in the world or anything, but I appreciate someone standing up for himself like this. As someone who likes to talk shit on Twitter and the internet in general, I appreciate you fighting the good fight like this. (Seriously.)

I’m starting to realize that there are two types of people on the internet: (1) those who want to say what they want to say, everybody else’s opinions be damned; and (2) those who want nothing but safe, complimentary asskissery.

I’ve always believed in saying what I think (on the internet and in life) and I like other people who feel the same way and act accordingly. I believe in people saying what they think about me, too — I’d rather have 100 people call me an asshole than 10 people compliment me and suck up when I don’t deserve it or because they want something from me or from being associated with me. And I strongly believe that, if you can’t handle other people’s real, honest thoughts and opinions, you shouldn’t even be on the internet, because the internet doesn’t exist to feed your ego or your agenda.

One of Oney’s most recent tweets:

I appreciate stones

So do I, Oney. So do I.

Here is my 2010 bracket (pdf). Enjoy!

P.S. I like Richmond to win more than one game, but I can’t really see anyone other than Villanova coming out of the South.

Check this out — Ubaldo Jimenez is getting national attention. It’s about time, yo. I told y’all about him way back in 2007 (although I didn’t really tell you anything there) and he’s better now than he was then. I totally agree with what Purple Row has to say on Ubaldo’s baseballreference.com page:

Ubaldo Jimenez is the greatest pitcher the Colorado Rockies have ever seen and the first true Ace in Coors Field. Armed with a 100mph fastball that moves a foot and induces extreme groundballs. What isn’t to love about this guy?

Yes,  yes, and yes.

Aside from being a smartypants, he is, without question, the most exciting pitcher to watch (I put him a step above Tim Lincecum). Seeing him in person is incredible, but watching on TV allows you to appreciate the crazy movement on his pitches. Really good pitching is what made me love baseball, and Ubaldo Jimenez reminds me of what it felt like when I realized, oh wow, baseball is freaking awesome. If you think baseball is boring (and I know there are those who do), try watching him pitch. It’s seriously incredible.

He’s going to be big. I just hope the Rockies are good enough to make it matter.

When I worked as a criminal defense attorney, I represented many clients who could be considered “bad guys.” I had clients who committed theft, stalking, battery, and burglary; clients who got caught driving drunk three or four times; clients who were registered sex offenders. Of all those people, there was only one time I actually felt a little creeped out and like my client might actually be a bad guy — this was the time the prosecutor showed me pictures of what my client did to his girlfriend. (I used a coping technique I developed that time I tried to volunteer at the Anti Cruelty Society and they make you go though orientation, which involves watching a video of people euthanizing animals. This coping technique involves pretending you are looking at something you don’t want to see while actually looking just off to the side so you don’t actually see it.) The prosecutor was trying to rattle me before we presented our arguments on sentencing for a probation violation to the judge, and it totally would’ve worked had I actually looked at the pictures. (For the record, I don’t think it’s cool for a dude to beat his girlfriend. I do, however, strongly believe in the Constitution and the rights of individuals accused of crimes, especially their right to counsel.)

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On Saturday night, while he was rocking Soren to sleep, Ben said something about how he loves Soren’s room — it has a very good vibe, or something like that, and is just awesome. Compared to all the rooms I see on Ohdeedoh, it’s not really all that. Some of the furniture is silly and our entire house has unfortunate textured walls that will be very hard to fix, for starters. He’s right about the room having a very good vibe, though.

We’d had a (small) argument about chili (yes, it was as stupid as it sounds) and just before putting Soren in his crib at 10:00 (baby is a night owl), Ben said that there was no reason to be mad and this is pretty much as good as it gets — Bob Marley on the iPod shuffle and a cute little guy asleep in his paw-print sleep sack. Of course Ben was right. He always is.

The next song that came on was Never Said by Liz Phair. (When I was in Chicago back in the heyday of Liz Phair and practically lived at bars like Sweet Alice and Estelle’s [before it was all fancy and shit], I hated her music — what’s up with that?) I sat on the rocking chair and figured I’d hang out there, watching the baby sleep, until a song came on that disrupted the vibe. Soon I had a cat on my lap (VIP). I sat there for a while because here’s what happened:

Fall in Love – Tortured Soul (When we lived in Nederland, we went to see these guys at Cervantes. This was back when Ben used to accidentally spill beer on me all the time. He got pulled over after leaving a gas station in Boulder because apparently there was supposed to be a “no left turn” sign [there wasn't]. The car smelled like a brewery and it was late at night in Boulder, so the officer made him do a bunch of field sobriety tests and, while I waited, I saw a fox run across Broadway. Ben wasn’t drunk and eventually we went home. I loved living in Nederland, a lot, but don’t miss the long-ass drives to get anywhere.)

Africa – Toto (Embarrassing! I guess I like the powerful vocal stylings? I think there’s this thing that happens to you when you have a kid, where you kind of like listening to some stuff from like 20 years ago that you didn’t even think you liked. Or maybe that’s just me.)

Gigantic – The Pixies (This is a classic.)

Little Bit – Lykke Li

Crazy – Gnarls Barkley

Just Like Honey – The Jesus and Mary Chain (The Jesus and Mary Chain was my favorite band when I was in high school and I’d say for the early college years, too. Psychocandy changed my life, I shit you not. I even drew the album cover on the back of a denim jacket I wore all the time. I remember seeing them at the Riviera, where my friend and I waited in line for hours so we could get a good spot, but after being totally smushed against the stage for a while until we almost couldn’t breathe we had to be pulled out by one of the security dudes. I’m still kind of annoyed they used this song in that movie I didn’t like with the big-headed girl and the old dude. Why is Hollywood obsessed with young hottish women with old dude and hottish woman with fat and/or ugly dude? I hate that.)

Don’t Trust Me – 3Oh!3 (Okay, that ends the vibe.)

Last night, while Ben was putting Soren to bed, Mark Grant’s There 4 Me (Soul Bounce (Vocal)) was playing on the shuffle. Wouldn’t it be cool if the iPod was, like, magic or something — if it could sense what the listener needed to hear and play it? Maybe eventually the iPod would get really good at it and play shit you didn’t even put on there at just the right moment. A magic iPod wouldn’t be the greatest thing that ever happened in the world, but it would be pretty cool.