Hit by a Pitch

As a big fan of coach meltdowns and Allen Iverson’s “practice” rant, this totally made my day.

• Although the season is over for the Denver Nuggets (much to the delight of David Stern and the NBA referees, but whatever), there’s some good news for the team. Super-mascot Rocky made the Forbes “Top 10 Sports Mascots” list. (Unfortunately, some of the other winners also made my “Terrifying Mascots” list.) Even if you’re not all that into sports mascots (and I couldn’t blame you for that), Rocky is the shit. The last time we were at a game, he climbed from the court all the way up to the top of the third level (and he climbs up, like, walls and stuff, not just stairs), shot out some confetti, and then ran back down to the court, all in record time (I don’t remember how much time, but it was really fast). He does crazy shit with ladders and stunts that would be impressive if done while not dressed as a mascot.
• This just in from the U.S. Department of Badassery: Shit, dudes, Colorado Rockies catcher Miguel Olivo. I already like the guy because I picked him up for my fantasy team after A.J. Pierzynski went like 2 for his last 873. He’s been hitting well and isn’t so bad at throwing out runners. Don’t get me wrong — that’s just garden-variety badass for a catcher. But here’s the thing — during the 8th inning of Monday’s game, dude slipped into the team’s bathroom near the dugout and — holy shit — passed a kidney stone. Then he went back into the game. (I’ve heard that passing a kidney stone feels kind of like giving birth. I have no idea if this is true, but if it’s even half as painful, holy shit.) I wish my team got bonus points for that. Dude.
• From the LOLWTF files. I present Melo’s People of Utah: