Hit by a Pitch

Song: Chromeo Call Me Up Mashup by Ben

There are two tricks to making really fucking awesome homemade nachos:

1. Make your own tortilla chips.
2. Think in terms of layers, like you’d do with lasagna.

I wasted many years of my life thinking I couldn’t make good nachos at home. Just so you know, I really, really like nachos — good nachos, not the crap with the liquidy cheese you get at baseball games (although that has its place, especially when you’re pregnant and baby wants an efficient jalapeno-delivery system). I tried many times. Many of these attempts involved pouring a bunch of Tostitos on a plate, spooning a bunch of refried beans mixed with salsa over them, topping with some cheese, and throwing the whole mess in the microwave. It seems like this would turn out okay, but I never liked the result.

As soon as Ben started making tortilla chips, I kind of saw the light. Making tortilla chips isn’t rocket science or anything — it’s super easy and people have probably been doing it since the dawn of time but I never thought of it. All you do is take some small corn tortillas (if you’re really bad ass, I’m sure you can make your own corn tortillas but I’ve never done it), brush a little oil on them, cut them into 6 tortilla-shaped pieces, and bake. The bonus? You won’t believe me because as a general rule, leftover nachos are gross, but I swear, leftover nachos made this way are actually good. Seriously!

So here is how you make really good nachos at home.

Ingredients

• small corn tortillas (however many you want — I just asked Ben how many he usually uses and he said he has no idea, however many you want, at least a dozen)
• olive oil (or whatever oil you prefer — we pretty much use olive oil for everything)
• salt
• part of a brick of Velveeta (I know, but Velveeta is the shit in nachos), cut into small cubes
• shredded “Mexican” cheese of some sort
• a can of black beans, drained and rinsed
• chopped onion (as much as you want)
• toppings, such as guacamole, salsa, green chili, or whatever (even fresh tomatoes if you like — I’m just learning to tolerate fresh tomatoes, so I do not use them on my nachos)

Directions

Brush both sides of each tortilla with a light coating of oil (you don’t need a ton). Stack the tortillas and cut them into six equal pie-shaped pieces. Distribute evenly on a cookie sheet and bake at 375 for approximately 20-25 minutes, flipping approximately halfway through the baking process (I go for a shorter time because I like them to be more soft than crunchy — when they’re starting to get brownish around the edges, they’re probably good). Salt to taste  (I’m usually generous because these are tortilla chips and tortilla chips are supposed to be a little salty).

Place a layer of the tortilla chips on an oven-safe plate — you want to do the best you can to create a thin layer that covers the plate, allowing each tortilla to overlap a little. It’s not an exact science, but your goal is to create a nice, thin surface for your toppings. On top of your tortilla layer, place as many black beans as desired (I usually do a good handful), chopped onion, salt (if desired), several chunks of Velveeta, and a nice handful of shredded Mexican cheese. On top of this, place another layer of tortillas, beans, onions, salt (if desired), Velveeta, and Mexican cheese. Then do that again (I usually do three layers of everything.)

Update: Put four or five tortilla chips on the top layer of cheese. This will help prevent the cheese from sticking to the aluminum foil you’re about to put over your nachos.

When you have the whole mess assembled and have probably spilled Mexican cheese everywhere, cover the nachos with aluminum foil and bake at 350 for approximately 30 minutes (check them after 25 or so — you just want the cheese to be all nice and melted). After the cheese is all nice and melted, remove the aluminum foil and bake 10-15 more minutes until the top is nice and brown.

Top with a little sour cream. Serve homemade salsa (recipe here), guacamole, and/or green chili on the side.

Pictures of the process are behind the cut (like all pictures I take of food, they suck), on the off-chance they might be useful because I know I’m not very good at writing recipes.

Update: If you want to put fake meat on your nachos instead of black beans (I highly recommend!), follow the instructions here.

tortillas

Ben’s homemade salsa

cubed Velveeta (I recommend making your cubes a little smaller than this)

homemade tortilla chips

thin layer of tortilla chips on a plate

tortilla chips topped with black beans, onions, salt (if desired), and Velveeta

with shredded Mexican cheese

three layers of chips, beans, onions, salt (if desired), Velveeta, and Mexican cheese, ready to go into oven (without the extra tortilla chips on top)

the finished product