Hit by a Pitch

The first prong of my fantasy football draft strategy was “don’t suck.”

with 2 comments

I failed.

On Sunday evening, Ben and I participated in a mock fantasy football draft. Usually, I am not a big fan of mock things (or moot, as the case may be — e.g., I refused to participate in moot court during law school because, well, it was moot) but I thought a mock draft might be a good idea to help prepare me for the real draft. Real drafts often involve beer and very questionable decisions when I’m involved, so being prepared is never a bad idea.

The problem with doing a mock draft one day and a real draft the next day is, well, this:

Team 1

Michael Vick
Kevin Kolb

Peyton Hillis
Jahvid Best
Daniel Thomas
Ryan Torain
Ronnie Brown
Roy Helu

Vincent Jackson
Mario Manningham
Johnny Knox
Steve Breaston

Vernon Davis
Benjamin Watson


Neil Rackers

Team 2

Tony Romo
Donovan McNab

Adrian Peterson
BenJarvus Green-Ellis
Fred Jackson
Ricky Williams
Delone Carter
Roy Helu

Larry Fitzgerald
Anquan Boldin
Steve Breaston

Jermichael Finley
Aaron Hernandez


Neil Rackers

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Which team is better? Or maybe the question should be: Which team would you rather have? Find out which one is my real team after the jump.

Team 1 is my mock draft team and Team 2 is my actual fantasy football team this year. The good news is that I stuck to the second prong of my fantasy football draft strategy, which was “go heavy on running backs.” The other day, I read in Sports Illustrated that — and I’m paraphrasing — this is the year of the RB, bitches (due in part to the lockout and the shortened time available to prepare for the season).

As you may have guessed from the presence of Adrian Peterson, I had the first pick. (For more on who to take with the first pick, check out this post.) Having the first pick is actually really hard. I mean, I know this is one of those non-problem problems, like being too thin to wear any of your pants, but hear me out for a second. When you pick first in the first round, you pick last in the second round because the order reverses for each round. So that means you get pick 1 and then, in a 12-team league, you don’t pick again until 24. Then the order reverses again, so you have the 25th pick, too. So you have to wait forever for your next pick and then pick twice in a row. That’s rough!

Hi, I'm Jason Elam.

Helen K. Richardson, The Denver Post

I haven’t had the first pick since the first time I ever played fantasy football, when I totally didn’t know what I was doing. If you don’t believe I didn’t know what I was doing (and why wouldn’t you?), I drafted, with the first pick, Jason Elam of the Denver Broncos. If you don’t remember Jason Elam of the Denver Broncos, he was a kicker. Taking a kicker with the first pick in a fantasy football draft should result in a lifetime ban on playing fantasy football. I shouldn’t even be here talking to you about this right now, but like the University of Miami I just keep on keepin’ on, leaving a path of chaos and destruction in my wake. The really sad thing, if it gets any sadder than picking a kicker at #1, is that I actually won that year. I was the fantasy football champion.

I haven’t won for years, which, now that I have an official league and we play for a small amount of actual money, is pretty sad. The good news is other league GMs aren’t afraid to make fun of me by, for example, creating polls like this:

How many ex-Iowa players will Tracy draft on her fantasy team this year?

  • None
  • One . . . maybe two
  • Three or more
  • Depends on how drunk she gets

I love these guys. Of course you know which option has the most votes. Unfortunately, somebody snapped up Shonn Greene right before I got him and I picked up zero Iowa guys. (Did you know Ricky Stanzi is on the Chiefs? I did not. I hope Kansas City appreciates his hair.)

Clearly, I’m high on this Roy Helu guy and I’m excited about Delone Carter. In my opinion, it’s always a good idea to gamble on a rookie running back or two. I would’ve gambled on Chad Ochocinco, too, but somebody else got him.

I don’t know, though. Even taking into account the Adrian Peterson factor, I think my mock draft team is a little more exciting than my real team. Maybe I should set up a mock two-team league so I can see which team is better in practice. Mock me if you will, but that might not be a bad idea!

Written by Tracy

August 30th, 2011 at 9:44 am