Hit by a Pitch

Fantasy Football: Rolling on to Week 5

without comments

fantasy football week 4

I don’t know how to say this without sounding like a complete asshole, so I’m just going to own the fact that I’m a complete asshole. But I’ll put it in quotes so maybe you’ll think it came from someone else.

The Wesley Willis Football Fiasco is dominating this season the way few fantasy football seasons have been dominated. As the only undefeated team in the league, WWFF could go all the way </Berman> to the Super Bowl!

I updated last week’s post to say I was starting BenJarvus Green-Ellis over Roy Helu and Cam Newton over Tony Romo. The first decision wasn’t that hard — Green-Ellis, notwithstanding last week’s bomb — is pretty reliable. Roy Helu plays for a team coached by Mike Shanahan, and if there’s one thing we all know about Mike Shanahan it’s that he looks like a crayfish. If there’s one other thing we know about Mike Shanahan it’s that he’s into the running-back-by-committee thing and you never know who’s going to get points. The Redskins have Tim Hightower, Ryan Torain, and Roy Helu. Unless you’re psychic, in which case you’re not reading this because you already know what you’re doing with your fantasy team, you have no idea who to play. (Ben, who has Hightower and Torain, has it way worse than I do with Helu hanging out on my bench).

The Cam Newton/Tony Romo decision was much harder. Romo was ranked a little higher than Newton. But Romo is hurt and he didn’t do well last week. Romo was up against the Lions, whose defense is normally very, very good. Newton was up against the Bears, who also have a great defense, but — let’s be honest — the Bears aren’t really who we thought they were so far this season — or they are, but they’re not really who we Bears fans hoped they would be. I went back and forth. I had Romo in. Then I changed to Newton. Then I changed back. Then Sunday morning over breakfast of leftover pizza and coffee (my Sunday morning tradition involves eating Saturday night’s pizza leftovers — this is getting harder to do while sitting next to a toddler who is eating waffles but also wants “Pizza!!!”) I finally decided on Newton. Then I did that thing I do where I’m at the gym on Sunday morning lifting heavy things and putting them back exactly where I found them and obsessively checking my fantasy football app. First Romo looked good. Then Newton looked good. Then I realized I had to stop freaking out every time one of these guys scored any points. Long story, um, long, Newton ended the day with 34.5 points (his best showing so far) and Romo put up 21.2. So yay me! Also sorry, I’m going to stop being that asshole who goes on and on about her fantasy football team.


Here’s who I told you to pick up last week and how they did. (Points taken from my ESPN league.)

  • Denarius Moore (WR): 7.9
  • Stevan Ridley (RB): 16
  • Nate Washington (WR): 6.2
  • Dane Sanzenbacher (WR): 1.6
  • Dexter McCluster (RB/WR): 3.8
  • Matt Hasselbeck (QB): 19.3
  • David Nelson (WR): 1.8
  • Devin Hester (WR): 6
  • Redskins (D/ST): 14
  • Chargers (D/ST): 10
  • Titans (D/ST): 12

Aside from Sanzenbacher and Nelson, these weren’t too bad. Fortunately for you, I’m too lazy to go back and tell you how guys I told you to pick up in earlier weeks have been doing, the one exception being Eric Decker, who had 17.7 points this week. Of course I picked him up but of course he was sitting on my bench.

Week 5 Fantasy Football Pickups

Are you ready for some bye weeks? (Note: That is not an endorsement of Hank Williams, Jr., because WTF.) I’m not. I’m scared. I have four guys on bye this week (Anquan Boldin, Tony Romo, Roy Helu, and the Redskins defense who I just picked up for week 4). Bye weeks are going to suck for me because my bench is stocked with RBs like Helu, CJ Spiller, and Delone Carter who aren’t ready for prime time.

  • Last week’s pickups you can still pick up: Matt Hasselbeck, Denarius Moore, Stevan Ridley, Dexter McCluster, Devin Hester (he’s questionable for week 5), David Nelson (maybe on him); you’re probably too late for Nate Washington.
  • Jared Cook (TE): He had 15.3 points in week 4 after not doing much before that. With Kenny Britt out for the season and the Titans lacking a WR who can come close to replacing Britt, Cook is a decent gamble.
  • Benjamin Watson (TE): This is Ben’s scoop — he’s been thinking about picking up Watson to replace his TE who does nothing. Watson has decent numbers and is more consistent than many other TEs.
  • Steve Breaston (WR): He’s the latest “if you have to have a Chief, it might as well be him” guy. I’m playing him this week in place of Boldin.
  • Ryan Torain (RB): If you can handle the uncertainty and he’s still available, he’s worth getting.
  • Isaac Redman (RB): Maybe, if Rashard Mendenhall misses any time.
  • Antonio Brown (WR): He’s pretty reliable.
  • Michael Crabtree (WR): His numbers are going up (slowly) and he has a favorable matchup this week if you need to play him.
  • Jacoby Jones (WR): This is risky because he hasn’t done anything yet this season, but there’s a very good chance Andre Johnson will be out for week 5 with a hammy (and hammies like to linger).
  • Bengals D/ST, Patriots D/ST.

As always, good luck!

Written by Tracy

October 4th, 2011 at 9:13 am