Hit by a Pitch

Soren and Peaches

I was carrying clothes from my closet to the washing machine and dropped a couple things (I never bother using a basket). I asked Soren if he could hand me one of the things, and he said, “Yeah!” and picked it up and handed it to me. Then he pointed to the other thing and said, “Peach give that to mommy!”
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Soren was playing with a spider on the floor. It was one of those reasonable little blond spiders. They were hanging out, doing whatever it is toddlers and spiders do together. Along came Peaches, who ate the spider. “Give it back!” Soren yelled at her. He tried to pry her mouth open to get the spider out. “Peach give it back!”

Soren and the Phone

This is a story about poop. Sorry.

On Friday morning before we left for school and work, Soren pooped. Then he did that thing he does where he denies that he pooped and runs around the house so you can’t catch him to change his diaper. Instead of chasing him around and forcibly holding him down to change his diaper, I try to reason with him: Soren, you made caca. Good job! We have to change your diaper. You can’t go to school with caca in your pants. We have to get the poopies out. Sophie (his BFF at school, not her real name) won’t want to hang out with you if you have caca in your pants.

When this didn’t work, I grabbed the play phone from his kitchen and pretended to call Sophie. “Hey Sophie, this is Soren’s mom. He’s not going to be able to come to school and hang out with you today because he made poopies and won’t let me change his diaper. I know. Maybe he’ll see you next week. Have a nice day!”

Then he finally allowed me the pleasure of changing his diaper. While this was occurring, he took the phone and said into it, “Sophie. Pants. Caca.” Then he pretend hung up.
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Totally unrelated: If you’re not reading ANIMALS TALKING IN ALL CAPS, you should be. It’s one of the funniest things on the internet.