The first thing I thought the other day when Soren locked us out of the house was: OMG, we don’t even have our phones out here. We’re screwed!

I don’t even know why I thought that, other than I must’ve wanted to live tweet the ordeal. (Not really. I’m not a fan of live tweeting anything. Do you ever see someone who tweets, like, 900 times while allegedly enjoying an allegedly spectacular experience? I absolutely refuse to believe that someone tweeting every second of something is actually enjoying it.) And who would we have called? We haven’t given anyone a spare set of keys, so nobody could get us in the house in a non-breaking-and-entering sort of fashion. We’d have to break a window (we are nothing if not impeccable in our home-security procedures). Meanwhile, Soren would be doing who knows what alone in the house while I stood barefoot (of course) outside freaking out and wondering if any parents in the world have managed to avoid being locked out of something at some point.

Approximately 10 seconds after locking us out, Soren unlocked the door. Ben didn’t realize this and tried the door again. It flew open, bonking Soren in the face. That was great.

We’ve decided that, from now on, the last adult to leave the house must grab the keys. I’ve forgotten to do this approximately 99% of the time I’ve followed Ben out to the yard. I have a vague memory of reading something one time where Jane Birkin mentioned that she doesn’t wear socks, which isn’t relevant here, and that she wears her house key on a ribbon. I’m going to start doing this. Stylish and practical.
_______
Soren is starting to notice racial differences in humans. This is what happened when he and Ben were at Target yesterday.

Soren (to the cashier): You’re brown.

Cashier: Yes, I am.

Soren: I’m beige.
_______
Remember that time I told you about mini naan pizzas? Here are the ones we made yesterday:

• homemade pesto, fresh cherry tomatoes from the garden, mozzarella
• sliced and fried (until just crispy) Tofurky Italian “sausage,” red sauce, mozzarella
• apricot preserves (Bonne Maman), brie, roasted garlic.

The apricot, brie, and roasted garlic pizza was amazing. Go light-ish on the preserves (I used too much) (too many?), medium on the brie, and heavy on the roasted garlic. And bring your keys if you’re eating outside and you have a toddler.