Sometimes you’re so busy doing shit you don’t have time to tell the internet about all the shit you’ve been doing.
On Thursday, I made a hemp bracelet for babies. This wasn’t intentional. My plan was to make a Shamballa bracelet, but I realized making a Shamballa bracelet was above my skill set when the tutorial was all, “If you know how to make a square knot, you’ll fly right through this part!” And I was all whoa puppies WTF is a square knot? So I got out some hemp cord and practiced making square knots, which really aren’t that bad and go like this:
- left working strand over core strand; right working strand over left, under core, and through the loop; pull tight (holding the core strand with your teeth if you’re me and can’t figure out a better way to do it)
- right working strand over core strand; left working strand over right, under core, and through the loop; pull tight.
Knot knowing what I was doing (haha OMG shut up), my hemp cord wasn’t long enough and I ended up with a bracelet that is too tight even for Soren. The good news is I learned to make the hell out of some square knots.
On Friday, after thinking it would never happen (I ordered a lemon yellow ice cream maker that was about to ship then it didn’t ship then it was going to ship and then it didn’t and then I was all boy, wolf, and got the turquoise one instead), I made homemade ice cream. I used the “Simple Vanilla Ice Cream” recipe from the book that came with the ice cream maker. It’s just heavy cream (I used “heaving whipping cream”), whole milk, sugar, and pure vanilla extract. Homemade ice cream is all I dreamed it would be and more. It’s so easy and so delicious and I can’t believe I didn’t start making my own ice cream earlier in life. It’s fun, too.
On Saturday, I started drinking in the afternoon and didn’t make anything. Actually wait, I did make something. I made Soren a t-shirt at the Cultivate Festival while he was super busy screaming, rending garments, wailing, and throwing himself to the ground in a fit of outrage because . . . his hands were cold and he was grumpy as hell.
I Instagrammed the Okkervil River show and then died of hipster overload.
Today, I made chocolate ice cream (holy shit), homemade bread without using the bread maker (dense), and that goddamn Shamballa bracelet. Let me tell you, if the instructions for making something involve burning and gluing string or cord of some sort, I want no part of it. My square-knot expertise aside, this was not a fun project for me and my sliding knot thing or whatever they call what in theory allows you to adjust the bracelet is a mess. Also, don’t believe what they tell you — 8mm hematite beads don’t fit on Chinese knotting cord, so the beads on the ends of my bracelet were borrowed from Soren because I couldn’t find anything else that fit on the damn cord. Ugh.
This 30 days of making stuff project is going to make me fat and bejeweled.