Here are some ideas for your Halloween costume:
- sexy librarian (for the people googling “DIY sexy librarian costume,” here you go: hair up, glasses, books, boobs)
- sexy teacher
- sexy schoolgirl
- sexy angel
- sexy devil
- sexy Cerberus, the 3-headed watchdog of hell
- sexy prisoner
- sexy bounty hunter
- sexy maid
- sexy nurse
- sexy doctor
- sexy dentist
- sexy election worker
- sexy DMV employee
- sexy bartender
- sexy flight attendant
- sexy detective
- sexy ladybug
- sexy cat
- sexy catwoman
- sexy dogwoman
- sexy Rosie the Riveter
- sexy angry rollerderby woman
- sexy pirate
- sexy zombie
- sexy former raver
- sexy trucker
- sexy oil rig worker
- sexy cowgirl
- sexy animal rights advocate
- sexy witch
- sexy Mormon
- .************sexy Christian singles************.
- sexy Buddhist
- sexy Amish woman
- sexy Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran
- sexy person who sells slushees at the Rockies game
- sexy soft-porn author
- sexy vaguely bondage-related thing
- sexy woman in leather
- sexy 18th century literature professor
- sexy rejected Bachelor contestant who did the ugly cry in the limo
- sexy rabbit
- sexy Broncos fan
- sexy elephant
- sexy earthworm
- sexy watermelon.
I think that just about covers all possible options.
My big idea is Gloria Steinem as Playboy Bunny, which is a big improvement over the time I went as T.J. Hoochmandzadeh (seriously — I still have a Cincinnati Bengals jersey) but I suspect that’s too esoteric for anybody to get in addition to being too sexy. Take my word for it: Unsexy Halloween costumes are the new sexy Halloween costumes.