Hey if you’re wondering

why I’m all about veganism lately, it goes something like this.

The other day, as I was hanging out with the chickens, one of them looked me right in the eye and I was hit by the realization that I absolutely can’t stand the thought of anybody mistreating one of my chickens. Or any chicken. Or any animal.

I haven’t eaten meat in — I’m not even sure. I’ve been a vegetarian most of my life. I started suddenly freshman year of high school. We were in Florida with family and it was the day before Thanksgiving. We went to some kind of fair thing and there were animals, including a turkey. I looked at the turkey and immediately realized that I couldn’t eat turkey. So at Thanksgiving dinner the next day, I didn’t eat turkey. Of course, everybody made fun of me (I swear I’ll cut the next bitch who says “But plants are alive!!”) but I was a devoted vegetarian for two or three years.

Then I started getting sick all the time. I had pneumonia, which was awful. I lost a bunch of weight and ended up being so weak I needed to use two hands to squeeze toothpaste out of the tube. I had an inhaler for a while after that. Then I got mono. Then I was like hey maybe I need to eat meat and asked my mom to go to McDonald’s to get me a hamburger (gross). I ate meat for the next several years.

The thing was I didn’t need to eat meat, I just needed to not eat so much shit. When I was a vegetarian in high school, I ate horribly. I’d seriously go to McDonald’s (I’m mortified by my former McDonald’s love) and get two orders of fries and that would be my lunch. No wonder I was sick all the time. You can’t survive like that!

Sometime right after college, I became a vegetarian again and I’ve been one ever since. I swear I don’t judge other people and how they choose to eat, but for myself, I believe that eating meat is morally wrong. I can’t do it and never will. Ben is a vegetarian. (He wasn’t when we met but converted very early on, figuring that every woman he ever dated had been a vegetarian and he might as well join us because we’re all awesome. He will occasionally try non-vegetarian green chili for “research purposes.”) Soren is a vegetarian. (I hope he will always be but I won’t pressure him.)

And that’s great! Yay, vegetarianism! But if I’m being honest, I have to admit that I know animals are mistreated in the dairy industry. I know that even the cage-free chickens who provide the eggs I eat and the hormone-free cows who provide my cheese and the heavy cream for the ice cream I so adore are at worst mistreated and at best not treated as well as I would treat them.

I’m not sure I can live with that any more, which is why I’m eating more and more vegan meals and am seriously considering either becoming vegan or becoming an almost vegan who eats the eggs from her own chickens. And it’s weird but every time I think about eating vegan food, instead of feeling like I’m missing something, I feel kind of . . . (sappy alert!) full of love. And healthy! If I’m being honest, again, I’ll admit that I don’t think dairy consumption provides any health benefits. I just do it because I like it. And maybe that’s not good enough any more.

In related news, I’m also passionately angry about all the cosmetic companies that didn’t used to test on animals but then started again so they can sell their shit in China, but that’s a rant for another day.

So anyway, that’s how getting chickens might turn me into a vegan. Tonight’s dinner: Tempeh Chimichurri! Yeah!