Today I am an Oakland Raiders fan.
I know, that’s crazy talk. I hear ya. But there’s a ridiculous, beer-inspired method to this Raiders madness.
Today I am an Oakland Raiders fan.
I know, that’s crazy talk. I hear ya. But there’s a ridiculous, beer-inspired method to this Raiders madness.
Hi hi! Here’s a quick, dirty, and pointless update!
First of all, thanks to dova, ramaba, ewu, and GridironGoddess for their awesome participation that made my first-ever live blogging experience fun, rather than a hellish and self-indulgent couple hours of sheer stupidity. I mean, I was pretty stupid, but that was partly the beer’s fault (Titan IPA will get you!). I actually watched the entire game and came away from the experience thinking that college football is slightly less pointless than I alleged.
Bad news today — Domonique Foxworth, my favorite Bronco, was traded to the Falcons. I hope he gets to start and I hope he and Jason Elam kick some ass in Atlanta. The truth is that Foxworth is better than Dre Bly (who makes approximately three times as much money) and the Broncos will regret this stupid-ass move. They keep getting rid of people I like, and this gives me a new idea. I will try to get through the Broncos season by cheering for their opponent each week. I’ll report on my progress. Let’s see if they can win me back (hm, maybe I just have a gene that makes it hard for me to be faithful to a team — it’s not my fault they can’t satisfy me).
The White Sox are sucking it up and making it look like it would be a good idea to have Jose Mesa come out of retirement to play for them. WTF pitching? The good news? Guess who’s up and got some playing time? My guy Jerry Owens. I love him! He just grounded out as we speak, but still. If he ever gets on base, watch his feet! Seriously!
Omar Vizquel is destroying the Rockies, who were destroying Tim Lincecum, who is, without question, the most exciting pitcher in baseball. Like Jose Mesa, I do not appreciate Omar Vizquel.
Finally, guess what? Tomorrow is a very important day — the day of my fantasty football draft. As usual, I am not prepared. On the plus side, the draft is scheduled to begin at 3:45 pm (I have to leave work early!), so I will probably not be totally soaked with alcohol. This year, we’re playing with people we know, so it should be more exciting if my team does well and more painful if it totally sucks ass again. Here’s the story of my draft from last year (which I am horrified to realize is done in a live-blogging format; however, looking back, taking Randy Moss in the seventh round and saying “you’re going to have an awesome year” was brilliant, but let’s be honest that any brilliance indicated by that move was canceled out by some very questionable picks). Hopefully this year will be better, right? I’ll let you know how it goes — don’t worry, I won’t live blog that shit.
Quick update: Former Broncos safety John Lynch is about to sign with the New England Patriots.
The only thing I can say about that is, “Ew!” Of course, I wish John well, but that’s gross.
It’s not official yet, but word around town is that Brandon Marshall will be suspended by the NFL for three games for violating the NFL’s personal conduct policy. If he “agrees to” attend counseling (does that mean he can just say, “Oh, sure, counseling! I’ll go!” and not actually do it?) the suspension will be for two games instead of three.
Marshall was arrested for DUI in 2007 (the trial is scheduled for September) and on false imprisonment and domestic violence charges earlier this year (he attended anger management classes and the charges were dropped).
Unrelated to the suspension, Marshall suffered a serious injury to his arm during the off season. In a Farnsworth-vs.-the-fan-esque comedy of errors, Marshall, while messing around with family members, got tripped up by a fast-food bag, and flew arm-first into an entertainment center. Fortunately, he has recovered from the injury and is doing well in training camp.
Did you hear the one where Mike Shanahan said that the Broncos will make the playoffs this year? That’s not a joke — he really said that.
I think that’s crazy talk and it will never happen. The Broncos will not make the playoffs this year. My discussion and prediction are after the jump.
Breaking news (well, it broke right when I got to the gym, so almost breaking news) — John Lynch left Broncos training camp today.
The details aren’t clear yet. Reports indicate that it wasn’t the best training camp ever for him — he wasn’t involved in many plays and possibly things weren’t going that well. I don’t know if he’s planning to just retire, go with another team, or (the early favorite) go into broadcasting.
So, that’s shocking. Of course, Lynch is awesome and I wish him well, but reserve the right to talk a lot of shit about him if he ends up with the Chargers.
This morning, Rich Tuten, Strength and Conditioning Coach of the Denver Broncos, called in for a chat with the morning radio guys on 104.3 The Fan. You can listen to the whole thing here and, seriously, you really should. The discussion about his ongoing work with Montrae Holland, who showed up for training camp too overweight to practice, is the most badass thing I’ve ever heard.
To put it mildly, Tuten has Holland on a training regimen that I doubt most people would survive let alone get up and face every day. (Hey, maybe Tuten can work his magic on Carmelo Anthony before the start of the NBA season.) In the insane heat (the on-turf temperature regularly reaches 125 degrees) he and Holland get out there and kick some serious ass. On Sunday, they pushed a 200-pound sled up and down the turf for an hour and 40 minutes with no break and no water. The goal is to shock Holland’s system and get his body to get it that oh shit, it’s time to get in shape and shed the extra pounds. He loses 15 pounds of sweat every day (and then hydrates and gets it back, of course).
The truly awesome thing is that Tuten does this all with Holland — he doesn’t just sit on the sidelines and yell at him. He’s out there pushing the sled around and working on the stairmaster, treadmill, and bike in the gym, side by side with the portly offensive lineman.
My favorite part of the conversation was this quote: “You’ll pass out before you die, anyway. So, you know, you’ll be okay. When you wake up, it’ll all be over.”
Of course, these guys are professionals and they know what they’re doing. They’re not (and I’m not) saying that if you’re out of shape, you should go out in 100+ degree heat and work out like crazy for over an hour with no break. People, athletes even, can die doing shit like that if they don’t know what they’re doing. So of course, be smart about it and don’t go too crazy if you don’t know what you’re doing. And please don’t take his comment more seriously than it was intended.
Disclaimers aside, that is so awesome I can’t even stand it. It made me think about my workouts. I like to think I’m pretty cool, going to the gym five days a week and doing cardio or weights for at least an hour, maybe more. But after listening to Rich Tuten, I kind of feel like a wuss. Dude’s in his 50s, doing this shit! I take breaks and drink a lot of water. I don’t go all out for an entire hour. Of course, I’m not an elite athlete or even a professional strength and conditioning coach and I probably can’t and shouldn’t go all out for an entire hour. I know my limitations (and they are vast, let me tell you).
But the cool thing about sports, at least as I see it, is how they affect you in your everyday life. Listening to Rich Tuten makes me want to work out a little harder the next time I go to the gym. I want to run a little faster, or go a little longer — just push myself harder than I did last time. I guess that’s why some people hire personal trainers — to provide that encouragement or motivation or shit talk or whatever you need to give it a little bit more. I’ve never been into the idea of a personal trainer (I’m what has been referred to as an Ice Queen at the gym — I have my iPod on and I’m not stopping to talk to anybody). The problem is that the lack of a personal trainer can allow me to get a little lazy and too comfortable, which means I forget to push myself.
But the next time I go to the gym, I’ll imagine my own little mental Rich Tuten, pushing me to run more, faster, better. And that’s pretty cool.