Men’s ski superpipe results — 1.24.08
1. Tanner Hall: 92.33
2. Simon Dumont: 91.00
3. Colby West: 85.00
4. Andreas Hatveit: 81.66
5. Jossi Wells: 75.00
6. Mike Riddle: 70.00
7. Peter Olenick: 65.00
8. Sean Field: 64.00
9. Matt Hayward: 50.33
Let’s be honest. I know jack shit about skiing and superpipe. I don’t know a whiskey flip (it’s this really cool thing that only some Napoleon Dynamite-looking dude from Colorado does) from a 1080. I’m admitting right off the bat that I’m an idiot.
So here is the perspective of a jack-shit-knowing idiot who watched this for the first time, ever:
The competition was kind of boring, because Tanner Hall got a 90 on his first run, a 92.33 on his second, and nobody ever caught him. So there was no real drama or excitement. It felt like his mom was one of the judges (who are the judges, by the way?). Also, I know nothing about Tanner Hall and his 9,000 medals they kept talking about, but he didn’t come off as a very likable character. In fact, if I met him on the street, I’d probably want to punch him in the face (and I’m saying that the same way Ichiro Suzuki says it when he refers to punching himself in the face). The crowd didn’t seem to like him much either, or they just much preferred Simon Dumont. They even broke out in a chorus of “Bullshit!” at the end of the competition.
From the perspective of a newbie, there were two guys who were really interesting to watch, and they were interesting for very different reasons.
Simon Dumont was awesomely explosive, getting amazing amplitude (that means he gets really, really high in the air up the sides of the pipe). Andreas Hatveit has ridiculous technical skills, but lacks the amplitude of the other skiers. That said, he was my favorite to watch. The best thing was the way he starts off by going into the pipe backwards (switch). I always like the quirky guy who does something a little different, so Hatveit (who’s from Norway, so he’s my people) was my favorite. Also, and it’s hard to tell with all the gear they wear, but he might be kind of hot. I hate to be like that, but I have to admit that when I watch a sport I know nothing about, 90% of my cheering is based on the hotness of the athletes. There, I said it.
Also, who in the hell is Tina Dixon? I think she’s high. I could do a better job interviewing these guys.