Hit by a Pitch

Archive for the ‘Great moments in sports’ Category

The Humber Games (Sorry.)

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In my short career as a baseball fan, my team has given me a no-hitter, two perfect games, and a World Series victory.

My experience watching the end of Philip Humber’s perfect game was a lot like the time I saw the end of Mark Buehrle’s perfect game: sitting in my living room, hands over my mouth with my fingers on my nose (not in an intentional I-can-affect-the-game posture — just because that’s what I do with my nervous hands when I’m really freaking out about a sporting event), feeling kind of like I’m going to be sick (not really) or cry (really). I love displays of defensive awesomeness in sports more than just about anything, and a perfect game thrown by a major-league pitcher is just about the most awesome display of defensive awesomeness there can be, if that’s not too awesome to even make sense.

I almost missed both perfect games (catching the end of the Buehrle game was sheer luck when I went home for lunch and got a text alerting me to what was happening). If you’re not a baseball fan (in which case, sorry, tl;drno1curr), you might not know about the annoyance of what Fox Sports does to you on Saturdays. Fox airs a baseball game each Saturday afternoon. All other games are blacked out, even on services like MLB.tv or MLB Extra Innings, which are expensive things you purchase to watch out-of-market games. I guess the theory is that baseball fans will watch whatever shit game is on Fox because they can’t watch any other games.

I never do that. Pro football is the only sport I’ll watch any team play. If we’re talking about baseball or basketball, I’m only watching my teams. So usually on Saturday afternoon, I listen to the radio broadcast of the White Sox game (you can do this on your MLB At Bat app, but of course if you’re a baseball fan, you already know that).

I listened to the beginning of the Sox game on Saturday afternoon until I had something else to do. Later, I checked the score and saw that it was the 8th inning, the Sox were still winning, and — wait, holy shit — the Mariners had no hits. So this is at least a no-hitter if Humber is still pitching. I fired up the audio broadcast and hit up Twitter, which as always is the best place for breaking news. I saw all the OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT tweets from @nothawk (fake Twitter account of one of the White Sox tv guys, who is the greatest sports commentator of all time this side of John Madden, and one of the most brilliant contributions to Twitter) and I knew what was going on.

Fox finally, in the bottom of the 9th inning, switched from the stupid-ass game it was broadcasting to the Sox/Mariners game (at first on a terrible split screen). So I got to see the last three outs of Phil Humber’s perfect game. It was glorious and I almost cried. And I’m really bummed that Soren was napping when it happened. Soon, though, little guy. There will be lots of White Sox moments like this for us to share.

Written by Tracy

April 23rd, 2012 at 9:30 pm

“Nothing’s funny to me!”

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This doesn’t even make it into my top 10 sports meltdowns, but it’s good for at least a chuckle. Behold, Derek Anderson, Arizona Cardinals quarterback, after being asked by a reporter why he was laughing on the sidelines while his team was getting killed by the San Francisco 49ers.

For more sports meltdown fun, check out my “coach meltdowns” archive (they’re not all coach meltdowns, but whatever). The Josh McDaniels one has been deleted from YouTube, but you can see it here (shhhhhhh and LOL @ Ben laughing). (P.S. I’m kind of horrified that I’m going to be the same age as Oklahoma State football coach Mike Gundy was during his meltdown later this month. Egads.)

Written by Tracy

November 30th, 2010 at 10:06 pm

The White Sox, Pitching, and Me

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I’m going to admit something right now that I should’ve admitted a long time ago and will make me lose whatever credibility I might have had with sports fans. Are you ready?

Read the rest of this entry »

Written by Tracy

July 23rd, 2009 at 3:41 pm

The Latest Coach Meltdown

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Michigan women’s hoops coach Kevin Borseth thinks his team’s rebounding is offensive. He busts his tail end getting these girls ready to play, and for what?! I guess this shows that there’s some good stuff  happening on the Big Ten Network.

Make sure you watch the “rate the rant” commentary at the end. There’s a good shout out to Dan Hawkins in there.

Written by Tracy

March 8th, 2008 at 1:00 pm

AI still talking about practice

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Remember when Allen Iverson was talkin bout practice? Of course you do, because it’s one of the greatest sports-related moments of all time. This version of the video is especially awesome, because of the practice counter:

Last week, local sports reporter Vic Lombardi asked Iverson about talking about practice, and hilarity ensued. Watch the video here: CBS 4 Denver — Iverson Grades Lombardi on “Practice” Impression.

Written by Tracy

January 28th, 2008 at 3:59 pm

Coach Meltdowns: Do you have a child?!

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This is Mike Gundy, Oklahoma State football coach. He’s mad because a reporter criticized one of his players in this article. I don’t think anything in the article is bad — if the guy really was being fed chicken by his mom, he pretty much deserved to be made fun of for it. Anyway, if a quarterback can’t take a harsh word or two from the media, he might as well bow out of football now and start thinking about a career that involves a cubicle and little contact with the outside world.

There’s nothing I love more than a good coach meltdown, but this dude is pretty lame. Talking about someone crying to his mom after being called fat is funny, but he needs to get off the “if you had a child you’d understand.” Maybe it’s good that I don’t have a child, because I don’t understand and I’m perfectly happy to talk shit about anybody.

Written by Tracy

September 24th, 2007 at 7:14 pm

My fantasy football team is better than yours.

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This screen shot is evidence of the ridiculous ass kicking I did this week in fantasy football. My team did many amazing things:

  • Carson Palmer threw six touchdown passes, cured cancer, and replaced all crappy beer in America with tasty microbrews.
  • Steve Smith scored three touchdowns, pulled all American troops out of Iraq, and completed his critical review of touchdown celebrations since the beginning of time and wrapped up filming of his three-part series, CNN Presents: God’s Touchdown Celebrations, which will air in the off season.
  • Randy Moss, who continues to dominate (I told y’all!), scored two touchdowns and won the Nobel Prize for Literature for his novel, Moss Grows on Football.
  • Antonio Gates, the best tight end in the NFL, did what he could for a team that played like ass and, after the game, found a couple kids at McDonald’s who have agreed to play wide receiver for the Chargers.
  • The Bears defense and my boy Devin Hester kicked ass and sent Chicago-style pizza to everyone in the world who still eats that New York crap.

While we’re on the subject of things that are good, Jim Thome hit his 500th home run yesterday — the first-ever walkoff 500th, and he did this on Jim Thome bobblehead day, no less. I love that guy.