Hit By a Pitch

It’s time for me to tell you about my secret.

We’ve had this weird, on-again, off-again thing for a couple years now. I guess you could call it a “relationship,” although I’m hesitant to try to define it — because I’m afraid of getting hurt and because I always have one foot out the door, ready to make my escape. We spend Saturday nights together on occasion, maybe once or twice a month. Usually I have too much to drink, and sometimes I say things I regret later, even though I think I’m too good for you. You know we’re all wrong for each other, a fact that is obvious to everybody in the world who knows either of us. You’re young and inconsistent, a little cheap, and nobody takes you seriously, and I, as you know, have a thing for bad boys. Still, I’m sure it’s not easy being #2 in my heart, knowing you’ll never be #1, a spot already taken by someone more experienced, more worldly, and usually much more talented.

For the past few weeks, you’ve been charming and completely irresistible. You’ve been doing everything right lately, and I’m not sure any girl out there could resist you now. Even though I know our love (if you can call it that) is fragile and I should keep it to myself, it’s time for me to let the world in on this hidden part of my life. I’m a little giddy and I’m not thinking straight.

This wasn’t supposed to happen, but I’m kind of in love with the Rockies.

I should be honest. I’ve been watching Rockies games for what, two years now — pretty much ever since I moved to Denver. I went to approximately 20 games this summer. I cheered loudly for them when they played the Cubs. I yelled at the TV for at least half an hour when Matt Holliday was in the home run derby this season and Chris Berman said “Who is Matt Holliday? Hahaha!” at least as many times as he said “BACKBACKBACKBACKBACK!!!” Of course I’m a Rockies fan.

I always try to deny it, though. The only time I write about the Rockies is when I’m making fun of them for something. The closest thing I have to Rockies apparel is the “What would Jose Mesa do?” t-shirt (because I got it when Jose Mesa was still here and the writing and #49 are purple). If I wear a hat to a Rockies game, it’s a White Sox hat, because the White Sox are my true love.

I’m not going to kick the White Sox while they’re down, but this year, maybe I can be serious about the Rockies for a minute. They’ve been making me feel like I felt in 2005 when the White Sox were on their way to winning the World Series — like anything is possible and I can believe in something I thought was impossible and baseball is the most magical thing in the entire world. And what girl doesn’t want to feel like that?

Now I feel bad. There are so many things I should’ve been telling you about the Rockies:

• Their new closer, Manny Corpas, is from Panama. He was a rookie last year, when Jose Mesa was still here, and I think he maybe learned at least a couple things from Big Daddy. Ever since Fuentes got “injured” right before the All Star game, I’ve had complete faith in him as a closer.
• Troy Tulowitzki is going to win Rookie of the Year. If you’re even a little bit of a baseball fan, you have to watch this kid. He is amazing. He makes some of the most ridiculous throws I’ve ever seen. If you have the same attitude about life that he has about baseball, you’re awesome, and you’re going to be really happy.
• Kazuo Matsui is one of my favorites. His at-bat music is Tricky by Run DMC, and that makes me love him even more than I would’ve otherwise.
• Matt Holliday is a good choice for MVP. If you don’t know, now you know.
• In a few years, you’ll know Ubaldo Jimenez.
• Right now, I want you to scream “YORVIT TORREALBA!!!” as loud as you can — that’s fun, isn’t it? I do this every time he bats, because he is my favorite player. If you watched the game last night, you saw him play defense like the Chicago Bears (when they aren’t riddled with injuries).

According to some math people in California, there’s like a 39% chance that the Rockies will make the playoffs. Last week, their chances were around 3%. I haven’t heard anybody mention Jesus as the reason for this success, so I think they all realize that they’re winning because they want to win, because it’s just what they do, because they really want to make it. That’s what makes me shell out the $$ for some good seats for this Saturday’s game against the Diamondbacks without talking shit about it for an hour first. I hope they’re still in the race on Saturday — I hope more than anything that I can scream and cheer like I haven’t screamed and cheered since the time the Broncos beat the Patriots in the post season a couple years ago. Even if they aren’t, though, I can scream and cheer so they know that their fans, the real baseball fans in Denver, appreciate the hell out of what they’ve done with the end of this season and hopefully, the owners, who I don’t trust, decide to shell out the $$ to keep these guys together next year.

Did you know that the Rockies are on a 10-game winning streak? Well, if you don’t know, now you know. I gotta go watch the game — hopefully this will be #11.