Hit by a Pitch

One thing my midwife taught me about being in labor is that you save the “big guns” until as late in the process as possible. The big guns, when you’re having a homebirth, are things like counter pressure (where someone presses really hard on your lower back) and the inflatable kiddie pool set up in your dining room. You don’t want to avail yourself of these things too soon, because you want them to be effective when you really need them. Early in labor, before things get hard, you’re supposed to distract yourself from the fact that you’re in labor. I had a to-do list — paint my toenails, take the dogs for a walk, bake a cheesecake. (Full disclosure: I ended up sitting on the couch watching college football all day and then when things got hard all I wanted to do was sit on the couch and scream my fool head off all night.)

The same things that work for labor work for making your running playlist. That sounds weird, but I swear it makes sense. Early in a run, it’s not that you want to distract yourself from the fact that you’re running, but you want to take it easy. You don’t want to bust out the big guns on your running playlist too early. You don’t want it to be all high-energy all the time. Well, maybe you do, but I usually don’t.¹ I don’t want a running playlist that has all super-intense, heart-pounding stuff. I usually find that some slower, less-intense music can make me feel like I’m working out at a less-intense level. This can be pleasant in moderation. I like a nice mix of that and high-energy stuff.

A running playlist should start out a little slow, maybe with something that doesn’t really make sense. Then you build up. Then you take it back down. Then you build up again.

It’s kind of like a good DJ set, which is kind of like sex. You know what I mean?

Anyway, after much deliberation and a little trial and error, I’ve developed a template to use for making a running playlist (or a general cardio workout playlist if that’s your thing). It goes something like this (and of course, all people and all runs are different, so tweak this to suit yourself):

• one intro song: slowish, maybe rock, okay or good if it doesn’t make sense in the context of the whole playlist
• one song that builds up a little
• one song that takes it back down a little
• one or two songs that build up a little
• several high-energy songs that go together — I’m partial to hip hop here, but other options include girl power (Heart and Soul by T’Pau, Gold Guns Girls by Metric, Fire in Your New Shoes by Kaskade feat. Dragonette, Fantasy by Mariah Carey feat. ODB); reggaeton (Siente el Boom by Tito El Bambino, Impacto by Daddy Yankee, The Anthem by Pitbull, El Trago by 2 in a Room); and industrial (Headhunter by Front 242, And This is What the Devil Does by My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult, Juke Joint Jezebel by KMFDM, Jesus Built My Hot Rod by Ministry)
• one or two songs that bring it back down a little — something different, okay if it’s totally cheesy (More than a Feeling by Boston, Your Love by The Outfield, Sister Golden Hair by America, Wake and Be Fine by Okkervil River)
• and then bring your high-energy shit, several songs — I like stuff you’d hear at a Chicago house party in the summer, windows open, sweltering hot, all the furniture pushed against the walls so everybody can hold up their drinks and shake their asses; also MSTRKRFT
• one or two songs that take it back down a little
• one cool-down song.

And that’s how to create your own running playlist!

Any workout playlist should always be longer than you’ll need. If you’re going to run for an hour, make your playlist at least 1:20 long. This allows for skipping songs you’re not feeling that day and alternate endings. You might want to end on a super-high-energy song (I usually do this because I run my fastest in the last few minutes). But you might want to end coming down, so allow for that, too. You might not need the cool-down song at the end, but it’s nice to have one there in case you want it.

I made a new running playlist based on this template, and you can get it here (for a limited time). Here’s what’s on it:

• Ceremony – New Order
• Away Frm U – Oberhofer
• Lost in the World – Kanye West feat. Bon Iver
• Id Engager – Of Montreal
• That’s Not My Name – The Ting Tings
• Live Life to the Fullest – Charles Hamilton feat. Yung Nate
• One Mic – Nas
• Get By – Talib Kweli
• Bombs Over Baghdad – Outkast
• Bad Girls Club – Wale feat. J. Cole
• Full Moon – Armand Van Helden feat. Common
• The Boys of Summer – The Ataris
• U Don’t Know Me – Armand Van Helden
• It’s Love (Joshua’s Mo Luv Vocal) – Naked Music NYC
• Let’s Go Disco – Southern Comfort
• Can I Get Some – The People Movers
• Bounce – MSTRKRFT feat. N.O.R.E.
• Prisoner of Love – Jessica 6
• Believe in Magic – Jim Jones feat. Lloyd (prod. Girl Talk)
• Don’t Fear the Reaper – Van She

Enjoy, and happy running!

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Note
1. The times I do want all high-energy all the time, I listen to Girl Talk. I know I’ve said it before, but it’s the best workout music of all time. Go here to download All Day for free.

Hey sports fans! It’s time once again for my annual post about the walk-up music of Colorado Rockies players. As always, I’ll update the list as I find out more and I’ll make a Grooveshark playlist ASAP. Enjoy, and comments are on for this post.

Pitchers

Matt Belisle:
Rafael Betancourt: Give Me Everything by Pitbull feat. Ne-Yo
Rex Brothers:
Jhoulys Chacin:
Tyler Chatwood:
Jeremy Guthrie: Tonight is the Night by Outasight (pitching), What Makes You Beautiful by One Direction (hitting)
Jamie Moyer:
Juan Nicasio:
Matt Reynolds:
Josh Roenicke: Imma Star by Jeremih
Esmil Rogers: Winner by Jamie Foxx feat. Justin Timberlake

Catchers

Ramon Hernandez: Ven Morena by Oscar D’Leon, Ai Se Eu Te Pego by Michel Telo
Wilin Rosario: El Cafe by Tito Swing, International Love by Pitbull feat. Chris Brown

Infielders

Jason Giambi: Wolfpack Theme by N.W.O.
Todd Helton: Springsteen by Eric Church
Jonathan Herrera: Riscate by Alexis & Fido
Chris Nelson: What’s My Name by DMX
Jordan Pacheco: Square Dance by Eminem
Marco Scutaro: Danza Kuduro (Club Mix) by Denoizer feat. Don Omar
Troy Tulowitzki: Levels by Avicii, Gotta Have It by Jay-Z and Kanye West (apparently Gotta Have It was for Opening Day only)

Outfielders

Tyler Colvin: Hold on to Black Metal by My Morning Jacket
Michael Cuddyer: Kyoto by Skrillex, I Can’t Stop by Flux Pavilion, Mind Your Manners by Chiddy Bang
Dexter Fowler: Grind 24 by Torch, Arab Money by Rick Ross
Carlos Gonzalez: Donde Estes Llegare by Alexis & Fido
Eric Young Jr.: Headlines by Drake

Do you ever have one of those hangovers where you wake up at 5-something and feel it coming, so you get up and drink some water and then go back to bed? You wake up later feeling like full-on shit. You try to go back to sleep but it doesn’t work. After you’ve been failing at getting comfortable in bed for like an hour, the nausea arrives. You lie there, sweating, your head pounding, trying to convince yourself that you’re not going to throw up. Ride it out, you think, as the waves come and go and come again. Eventually you get your sorry ass out of bed and plod, hunched over, to the bathroom, where for once you’re actually thankful that the room is so tiny because you can sit on the side of the bathtub while you vomit, well, nothing, tears streaming down your face, not because you’re really crying but just because that’s how it goes.

Although I talk about drinking beer and being shitfaced all the time, I don’t actually get shitfaced very often. I generally drink beer because I like drinking beer, not because I want to get drunk. Every once in a while, though, I have a little too much.

Last night, this happened before, during, and after The Ting Tings/MNDR show at the Ogden. Two Rangers at home. One Dale’s Pale Ale at Nicolo’s, where some hooches made fun of my dress, which, to tell you the truth, I don’t blame them because their minds were probably blown by its awesomeness because they looked like, well, Broncos fans who are regulars at some hole-in-the-wall with a name involving something drifting, stumbling, or floating inn who are not familiar with the sort of high fashion I bravely (just kidding) sport while out and about in this humble cow town (said dress got rave reviews from fellow concert-goers, so that was nice). Two Lucky U IPAs at the show. A valiant half of a Titan at the Matchbox after the show, where Ben and I sat by the open window and talked about how it used to be Orange Cat, where our mysterious friend Joe mixed once; how the neighborhood has changed (I just looked up reviews of The Matchbox and am LOL for real at the people referring to the area as sketchy or terrible); and about that time we met and went to Minneapolis for our first date (part of what you do when you’re drinking and out without your kid for the first evening in a year is remember when you fell in love in the first place).

Five-and-a-half beers is a lot for me these days, but I didn’t think, stretched out over a period of, what, 7 hours, it was the kind of magnificent drinking that would result in so much hangover. Ben insisted that I eat something and made me a super-greasy breakfast sandwich (whole wheat English muffin, Morningstar Farms “spicy” breakfast “sausage,” sharp cheddar, and lots and lots and lots of butter) and poured me a glass of Coke Zero. I sat across the kitchen island from Soren and took delicate nibbles of my sandwich while he ate oatmeal and cheese (you’d think he was hungover because that’s just weird) and ignored his banana. When sitting upright became too much for me, I retired to the bedroom, where I took one bite of sandwich approximately every 15 minutes until I finally finished it and possibly felt maybe a little tiny bit better.

The stupid thing about a hangover is that it sucks up hours of a perfectly good Sunday (80 degrees! And it’s going to be like 40 tomorrow!) that you should be enjoying. And shit, I missed today’s workout, for the first time in, well, I don’t remember the last time I missed a workout (I’ll make it up later this week). Lame. And it makes you write blog posts about being hungover. Lame!

Do you ever have one of those things where a song is, like, following you everywhere you go? Ben is working on a remix of this, so I hear it at home and in the car all the time. Then tonight, we were out for dinner (at City o City, my favorite restaurant in Denver) and this came on. It’s everywhere! We drove home with it on full blast and even Soren was screaming, “Run around run around run around run around!!!!”

I posted an acoustic version of this song earlier, but this is the original.

I don’t know shit about this stuff, but I think Oberhofer will be huge one day.

If you grew up listening to The Replacements, you might appreciate this.