Hit by a Pitch

I just . . . um . . . I . . . um . . . it appears I have been rendered speechless by what I’m about to share with you.

If you don’t know, Danilo Gallinari is from Italy and plays for the Denver Nuggets. As we speak, the ink is drying on the 4-year, $42 million extension he just signed with the team. He’s also on my fantasy basketball team, which appropriately and lamely is named the Galloping Gallinaris (in my defense, it’s only named this because I was totally messing with the guy who kept trying to trade some dude I’ve never heard of, a melted Snickers bar, and a bag of Fritos crumbs for Gallo, but goddamn if I didn’t know better than to take that deal).

Danilo Gallinari also apparently has some killer dance moves, if by “has some killer dance moves” I actually mean something else entirely. I hate when people post videos and tell you to watch them, really, they’re hilarious, but that’s exactly what I’m doing here even though it fills me with the existential angst that results from doing what you hate people doing. I’m not only speechless, I’m also incapable of conducting myself in accordance with the standards to which I hold others. I hope you’ll forgive me, though, because I make the party start.

Much love to @nuggetsnews for bringing this to the world’s attention.

Next time I go to a Nuggets game, I’m going to bust out the Gallinari.

Yesterday while watching ESPN at the gym, I saw Rajon Rondo wearing some pimp-ass glasses. I was all !!! and then … because I realized I’d probably never see him wearing them again. (I wish I could get fantasy basketball points for this. Rajon Rondo is on my team and that’s probably the only good thing I can say about my fantasy basketball experience because I am, if this is even a thing, heavy bad, and people keep making trade proposals to me because I suspect they think I’m a drunk Labrador retriever because that’s how bad I am.)

This shit happens to me all the time. I’ll see some random athlete with awesome facial hair or fantastic glasses, and then I’ll google it and find a bunch of irrelevant shit like 2-year-old photos, stuff about said athlete dunking off the glass instead of wearing it, or people complaining about professional athletes wearing “fake” glasses. (How could you know glasses are fake? My glasses, as they say, are real, and they’re spectacular.)

Imagine my delight today when ESPN’s Chris Forsberg tweeted a picture of Rajon Rondo wearing his glasses and someone I follow retweeted it, which allowed me to view a picture of the glasses and find out that there’s an ESPN dude who is an “unabashed hipster glasses fan.” And now I know who Chris Forsberg is. xoxo.  Check it. Awesome, right? What I always want to know in these situations is: What are they? (I’ve wondered this about Arian Foster, too, and I suppose I could just ask him because he does seem to respond to people on Twitter, but I’m kind of intimidated by Arian Foster’s awesomeness. Namaste and shit.) I’ve been doing some detective work but haven’t found them yet. I planned to at least post several options for you if you’re into this look, and why would you not be, but to tell you the truth it’s not going to happen tonight.

I had this subtle headache all afternoon and then as soon as I got to the gym, it graduated to mini-migraine status, a mini-migraine being the kind of headache where you feel like you’re being pummeled by bricks from the inside of your head specifically behind your eye, and the kind that gets worse rather than better after physical activity, but it isn’t so bad that you can’t function. So after each set I was all, “Oh hey let me pass out and/or cry now” and my head was all *poundpoundpound* but the good news is I feel better, albeit totally lazy, now. But please know I’m going to do my best to figure out what these glasses are and/or assemble some similar looks and present them to you ASAP.

Also I blame my headache on the rampant, constant, unyielding, and completely unreasonable 24/7 Tim Tebow coverage I, as an innocent resident of the city of Denver, have been tortured with over the past several days. (Also WTF was up with ESPN today? I had it on in the background while we were doing other things and I heard Tim Tebow doing his creepy flat-affect talking where he always sounds like he’s out of breath and never says anything of substance or that requires an ounce of original thought, and then he was, like, singing fucking hymns or some shit. I’m going to have to watch, like, angry goth nun clown peanut butter healthy living blogger porn to cleanse my brain after that.) I’ve never cheered for the Patriots. Well, I’d never cheered for them until the last time they played the Broncos, but damn if I’m not going to cheer for those bastards again this weekend. I hope the Broncos get Gronked.

So, we’ve already discussed Lithuanians (and Latvians) who play in the NBA. This year, in an interesting turn of events due to the NBA lockout, we have NBA players who will be playing in Lithuania.

Sonny Weems of the Toronto Raptors (formerly of the Nuggets) was the first NBA player to sign with a Lithuanian team. He’ll be playing with Zalgiris Kaunas, where he’ll be joined by Ty Lawson of the Denver Nuggets, who just announced his deal with the team today. The NBA players are free to return to their NBA teams as soon as the lockout ends.

I’ll let you know if any more NBA players plan to head to the glorious land of My People. (JR Smith, maybe?) If this guy’s tweet is any indication, Lithuanian fans are pretty excited about this development.

You might wonder why in the hell I’m watching a Denver Nuggets game when it’s not even basketball season (and, for the record, the game isn’t even in HD, so it’s kind of painful to watch). The answer, like the answer to most things, is because I’m a total weirdo.

On January 6, 2006, we were given a pair of quasi-courtside tickets by someone Ben knew through his former job. The seats were at center court in the first row behind where all the broadcasters sit. It was our first Nuggets game and it was completely bad ass. (My favorite part was standing in my platform shoes while Earl Boykins was checking in, because I did kind of tower over him.)

This is from 2007.

Like the dork I am, I set the DVR to record the game, just in case you could see us. And you know what? You can! It’s kind of crazy! It’s like, there’s a Nuggets game, and there we are! Hi us of 5 years ago! I’m from the future! You have a kid now! (The us of 5 years ago would’ve totally been all “LOL WTF no way buy us a beer!” in response to that.) Also, any time I see myself on video, I realize I am the most awkward person in the entire world. Holy crap.

Sidenote: Did you know that Linas Kleiza was the second Lithuanian to play for the Denver Nuggets, after Sarunas Marciulionis? Even being the Lithuanians in the NBA expert I claim to be, I did not know that, even though this information was revealed during a game I’ve had recorded for 5+ years.

I’ve stubbornly refused to delete this recording even though I haven’t even watched the whole first half. It’s just one of those things I keep because, well, I have hoarder tendencies. But whatever. As I am wont to say, I don’t get out much, so this was an exciting experience for me.

Anyway, watching this game is crazy, because there are dudes I haven’t seen for years playing for the Nuggets. I’m seeing guys like:

Carmelo Anthony (With cornrows!)
Earl Boykins (My favorite!)
Greg Buckner
Marcus Camby (He’s in street clothes on the bench.)
Francisco Elson
Linas Kleiza (Miss him!)
Kenyon Martin (He’s still here! He gets hurt!)
Andre Miller (One of the most bad-ass dudes in the NBA.)
Eduaro Najera (Every day he’s hustlin.)
Earl Watson (I liked this guy!)

My buddies Julius Hodge and DerMarr “Slim” “Best Hair in the NBA” Johnson were around but didn’t play.

The box score for the game is available here. Unfortunately, the Nuggets lost in overtime to the Dallas Mavericks, who were coached by Avery Johnson in 2006. Of course, the Mavericks went on to be the NBA champions. Five years later. But still.

Anyway, I’m watching this game (finally) because we’re switching from cable to satellite because (although we’ve been very happy with our cable service) it’s way, way, way cheaper. This means we’ll be giving back our cable box with DVR and I’ll be losing this game I’ve had recorded since 2006. There’s probably a way to copy it, but it’s really not that important and, although it’s been kind of cool to hang out with the us and the Denver Nuggets of 5 years ago, I’d probably never watch it again anyway.

I mean, the next time I want to watch an old sporting event, I’m busting out the complete 2005 World Series DVDs. Now that was a good time.

The original “Lithuanian NBA Players” post is here.

So, what have my peeps been up to since I wrote that post in 2008?

Zydrunas Ilgauskas, from Kaunas
#11–Center–Miami Heat
7’3″/ 260
Drafted in 1996, Ilgauskas currently averages 6.5 points, 5.3 rebounds, and 0.3 assists per game.

Linas Kleiza, from Kaunas
#11–Small Forward–Toronto Raptors
6’8″/ 245
In 2005, after completing his sophomore year at the University of Missouri, Kleiza was drafted by the Portland Trailblazers and immediately traded to Denver. In 2009, he was with Olympiacos Piraeus in Greece and in 2010, he signed with the Toronto Raptors. He’s a regular on the Lithuanian national team, which won bronze in the 2010 FIBA World Championship. In early 2011, he had microfracture surgery on his right knee (this is the same thing Kenyon Martin has had twice and it’s a big deal). He hopes to be ready to play by the start of the 2011-12 season.

Darius Songaila, from Marijampole (My dad is from there!)
#25–Power Forward–Washington Wizards
6’9″/ 248
Drafted in 2002 by the Boston Celtics, Songaila also has played for Sacramento and Chicago. He currently averages 1.8 points, 1.0 rebounds, and 0.2 assists per game.

Andris Biedrins, from Riga, Latvia
#15–Center–Golden State Warriors
7′/ 240
Biedrins was drafted in 2004 by Golden State. He currently averages 5.0 points, 7.2 rebounds, and 1.0 assists per game. He’s the second Latvian player in NBA history.
_______
There should be more Lithuanians (and another Latvian) in the NBA after the 2011 draft. Here are the prospects:

Jonas Valanciunas, from Utena
Power Forward
6’10″/230
b. 5/6/92
Predicted: #4 to Washington Wizards (ESPN); #3 to Toronto Raptors (DraftExpress.com, profile here); he gets a favorable write-up on NBADraft.net but I don’t see a projection for him there

Mindaugas Kuzminskas, from Vilnius
Small Forward
6’8″/218
b. 10/19/89
Projected: second round/undrafted (ESPN)

Donatas Motiejunas, from Kaunas
Power Forward
7′/220
b. 9/20/90
Projected: late lottery (ESPN); #3 to Charlotte Bobcats (DraftExpress.net, profile here) #4 to Washington Wizards (NBADraft.net, profile here)

David Betrans, from Valmiera, Latvia
Small Forward
6’10″/210
b. 11/12/92
Projected: first round bubble (ESPN); #27 to New Jersey Nets from Los Angeles Lakers (DraftExpress.com, profile here) #39 to Charlotte Bobcats (NBADraft.net)

(No music today! I’m watching what I hope is not the last Nuggets game of the season.)