Russell Westbrook (and a dog and a kid)

In this episode of What’s Russell Westbrook Wearing, I present his post-game press conference interview from June 14, after the Thunder lost to the Heat (bummer). Remarkably, the star of this outfit isn’t the glasses — it’s the pants.

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Russell Westbrook

While we’re talking about fashion, today Soren dressed Coltrane up as Soren. That was confusing for everyone. Then he was all hey, I can be a dog.

I guess Soren was trying to

He thinks it's cool

I love Russell Westbrook.

Here is a picture of Russell Westbrook from the post-game interview after the Thunder beat the Heat on June 12. He wears awesome shirts and glasses after every game, but this particular shirt and these particular glasses are the best yet. I worry that it’s only a matter of time before his wardrobe, which gets progressively more awesome after every game, will eventually hit the point where it is impossible to become even more awesome.

Russell Westbrook after beating the Heat

Blake Griffin is a flopping flopper.

Earlier this evening, I entertained myself by watching YouTube videos of Blake Griffin flopping. (Go here to check it out — I’m sure there are additions being made every minute.)

There are two things that are going to destroy the NBA. The first is shitty, ridiculous officiating. First of all, there is no reason “superstars” should get more favorable calls than any other player. A foul is a foul, period. Every foul should be called the same way no matter who’s on the giving end and who’s on the receiving end. And fewer fouls should be called because that shit is boring (if I wanted to sit around watching guys shoot free throws I’d — well, I’d punch myself and then get shitfaced because WTF) and it stops the flow of the game.

The second thing that’s going to destroy the NBA is the flopping. Flopping is #2 on my sports shit list, right after concussions, serious health issues, and suicide with respect to current and former NFL players. The first part of the problem with flopping is that guys do it at all. The second part of the problem is that shitty, ridiculous referees end up rewarding them by calling fouls when they see a flop. Like, oh man, dude is falling to the ground, which must mean someone hacked him. No. He’s just flopping.

Blake Griffin is an NBA superstar known for his aggro dunks. He’s also a goddamn flopping flopper, which kind of doesn’t make sense because you’d think someone so allegedly badass would be able to function like an adult instead of flopping. One time, he hit himself with his own hand and flopped. Seriously.

 

My favorite Blake Griffin flopping video was this one, which made me LOL.

So Long, and Thanks for All the Opportunities to Say, “Damn, that dude is really hot.”

Nene

Photo by Garrett W. Ellwood/NBAE via Getty Images

Today, the Denver Nuggets traded Nene to Washington.

From a basketball perspective, this doesn’t really bother me. The thing with Nene is that he never lives up to his potential. I mean, really, dude is huge. He should be going hard in the paint (sexy!) on, like, almost every play. If he drives to the basket like he really means it, with his size and power, there are very few guys in the NBA who can stop him. The problem is that more often than not, he doesn’t do this. He plays lazy a lot of the time.

I understand it’s a delicate balance for a guy like Nene. He’s strong and powerful but, despite his gigantic, sexy contract, he’s not a superstar and he never gets superstar treatment from referees. He gets called for ridiculous fouls. So to some extent I understand when he wants to lay off and take it easy. On the other hand, it frustrates the hell out of me because damn, nobody is going to stop him if he really goes for it, you know? He had an awesome game the other day and I was all, yeah, more like that! But it never happens on a consistent basis.

Although I’m not upset about this trade from a basketball perspective, I am disappointed from a hot-guy perspective. Seriously? Nene is quite possibly the most beautiful man I have ever seen in my life. Gorgeous. Stunning. I mean holy hell dude is smokin’ hot.

And don’t get me wrong. I don’t watch sports because I want to see hot guys. I watch sports because I love watching sports, and watching sports is what I do. But I’m not gonna be mad when, as a side benefit, I get to check out remarkably attractive men while enjoying sports.

So I’ll miss Nene because he’s, like, the hottest guy ever — hotter than my boyfriend Jon Garland, and if you know anything about me, that’s really saying something.

The Most Beautiful Boy In Brazil by Physics on Grooveshark

WTF Wednesday: Danilo Gallinari is, um, dancing??

I just . . . um . . . I . . . um . . . it appears I have been rendered speechless by what I’m about to share with you.

If you don’t know, Danilo Gallinari is from Italy and plays for the Denver Nuggets. As we speak, the ink is drying on the 4-year, $42 million extension he just signed with the team. He’s also on my fantasy basketball team, which appropriately and lamely is named the Galloping Gallinaris (in my defense, it’s only named this because I was totally messing with the guy who kept trying to trade some dude I’ve never heard of, a melted Snickers bar, and a bag of Fritos crumbs for Gallo, but goddamn if I didn’t know better than to take that deal).

Danilo Gallinari also apparently has some killer dance moves, if by “has some killer dance moves” I actually mean something else entirely. I hate when people post videos and tell you to watch them, really, they’re hilarious, but that’s exactly what I’m doing here even though it fills me with the existential angst that results from doing what you hate people doing. I’m not only speechless, I’m also incapable of conducting myself in accordance with the standards to which I hold others. I hope you’ll forgive me, though, because I make the party start.

Much love to @nuggetsnews for bringing this to the world’s attention.

Next time I go to a Nuggets game, I’m going to bust out the Gallinari.

Rajon Rondo’s Glasses

Yesterday while watching ESPN at the gym, I saw Rajon Rondo wearing some pimp-ass glasses. I was all !!! and then … because I realized I’d probably never see him wearing them again. (I wish I could get fantasy basketball points for this. Rajon Rondo is on my team and that’s probably the only good thing I can say about my fantasy basketball experience because I am, if this is even a thing, heavy bad, and people keep making trade proposals to me because I suspect they think I’m a drunk Labrador retriever because that’s how bad I am.)

This shit happens to me all the time. I’ll see some random athlete with awesome facial hair or fantastic glasses, and then I’ll google it and find a bunch of irrelevant shit like 2-year-old photos, stuff about said athlete dunking off the glass instead of wearing it, or people complaining about professional athletes wearing “fake” glasses. (How could you know glasses are fake? My glasses, as they say, are real, and they’re spectacular.)

Imagine my delight today when ESPN’s Chris Forsberg tweeted a picture of Rajon Rondo wearing his glasses and someone I follow retweeted it, which allowed me to view a picture of the glasses and find out that there’s an ESPN dude who is an “unabashed hipster glasses fan.” And now I know who Chris Forsberg is. xoxo.  Check it. Rajon Rondo glassesAwesome, right? What I always want to know in these situations is: What are they? (I’ve wondered this about Arian Foster, too, and I suppose I could just ask him because he does seem to respond to people on Twitter, but I’m kind of intimidated by Arian Foster’s awesomeness. Namaste and shit.) I’ve been doing some detective work but haven’t found them yet. I planned to at least post several options for you if you’re into this look, and why would you not be, but to tell you the truth it’s not going to happen tonight.

I had this subtle headache all afternoon and then as soon as I got to the gym, it graduated to mini-migraine status, a mini-migraine being the kind of headache where you feel like you’re being pummeled by bricks from the inside of your head specifically behind your eye, and the kind that gets worse rather than better after physical activity, but it isn’t so bad that you can’t function. So after each set I was all, “Oh hey let me pass out and/or cry now” and my head was all *poundpoundpound* but the good news is I feel better, albeit totally lazy, now. But please know I’m going to do my best to figure out what these glasses are and/or assemble some similar looks and present them to you ASAP.

Also I blame my headache on the rampant, constant, unyielding, and completely unreasonable 24/7 Tim Tebow coverage I, as an innocent resident of the city of Denver, have been tortured with over the past several days. (Also WTF was up with ESPN today? I had it on in the background while we were doing other things and I heard Tim Tebow doing his creepy flat-affect talking where he always sounds like he’s out of breath and never says anything of substance or that requires an ounce of original thought, and then he was, like, singing fucking hymns or some shit. I’m going to have to watch, like, angry goth nun clown peanut butter healthy living blogger porn to cleanse my brain after that.) I’ve never cheered for the Patriots. Well, I’d never cheered for them until the last time they played the Broncos, but damn if I’m not going to cheer for those bastards again this weekend. I hope the Broncos get Gronked.

Update: On March 11, 2012, Rajon Rondo wore sunglasses while warming up before the Celtics/Lakers game. He was poked in the eye when the Celtics played the Trail Blazers on Friday. Pimpin’ ain’t easy. Apparently the NBA denied Rondo’s request to wear the glasses during the game. More info. is available here.

Rondo

random photo from internet

I’ve also received reports that Tom Brady was seen at today’s game wearing hipster glasses. I’m looking for pictures.