Hit by a Pitch

I’m not gonna lie. That “One Shining Moment” montage they play after every NCAA basketball championship game doesn’t make me, like, outright cry, but it brings a tear to my eye every time. I’m not even (very) embarrassed to admit this.

As we get ready for tonight’s game, which, frankly, I don’t care all that much about (I picked North Carolina to win, oops — guess I’m going with Kentucky, even though they’re the favorite, because I’m sick of Kansas), let’s take a moment to remember last year last year’s shining moments, complete with my favorite NBA rookie, Kenneth Faried.

Photo by Garrett W. Ellwood/NBAE via Getty Images

Today, the Denver Nuggets traded Nene to Washington.

From a basketball perspective, this doesn’t really bother me. The thing with Nene is that he never lives up to his potential. I mean, really, dude is huge. He should be going hard in the paint (sexy!) on, like, almost every play. If he drives to the basket like he really means it, with his size and power, there are very few guys in the NBA who can stop him. The problem is that more often than not, he doesn’t do this. He plays lazy a lot of the time.

I understand it’s a delicate balance for a guy like Nene. He’s strong and powerful but, despite his gigantic, sexy contract, he’s not a superstar and he never gets superstar treatment from referees. He gets called for ridiculous fouls. So to some extent I understand when he wants to lay off and take it easy. On the other hand, it frustrates the hell out of me because damn, nobody is going to stop him if he really goes for it, you know? He had an awesome game the other day and I was all, yeah, more like that! But it never happens on a consistent basis.

Although I’m not upset about this trade from a basketball perspective, I am disappointed from a hot-guy perspective. Seriously? Nene is quite possibly the most beautiful man I have ever seen in my life. Gorgeous. Stunning. I mean holy hell dude is smokin’ hot.

And don’t get me wrong. I don’t watch sports because I want to see hot guys. I watch sports because I love watching sports, and watching sports is what I do. But I’m not gonna be mad when, as a side benefit, I get to check out remarkably attractive men while enjoying sports.

So I’ll miss Nene because he’s, like, the hottest guy ever — hotter than my boyfriend Jon Garland, and if you know anything about me, that’s really saying something.

It’s not the most exciting bracket of all time (I did think about going crazy with VCU or MSU, but just couldn’t do it), but here is my official 2012 bracket. Good luck with your picks!

I just . . . um . . . I . . . um . . . it appears I have been rendered speechless by what I’m about to share with you.

If you don’t know, Danilo Gallinari is from Italy and plays for the Denver Nuggets. As we speak, the ink is drying on the 4-year, $42 million extension he just signed with the team. He’s also on my fantasy basketball team, which appropriately and lamely is named the Galloping Gallinaris (in my defense, it’s only named this because I was totally messing with the guy who kept trying to trade some dude I’ve never heard of, a melted Snickers bar, and a bag of Fritos crumbs for Gallo, but goddamn if I didn’t know better than to take that deal).

Danilo Gallinari also apparently has some killer dance moves, if by “has some killer dance moves” I actually mean something else entirely. I hate when people post videos and tell you to watch them, really, they’re hilarious, but that’s exactly what I’m doing here even though it fills me with the existential angst that results from doing what you hate people doing. I’m not only speechless, I’m also incapable of conducting myself in accordance with the standards to which I hold others. I hope you’ll forgive me, though, because I make the party start.

Much love to @nuggetsnews for bringing this to the world’s attention.

Next time I go to a Nuggets game, I’m going to bust out the Gallinari.

Last night, while doing my normal thing reading Sports Illustrated in bed, I learned that Arian Foster, Houston Texans running back, is awesome. I always like someone who could be referred to as “a little different” — and that’s Arian Foster. He hung out and talked to people at Occupy Wall Street in New York. He studied Buddhism. He bows after touchdowns, a Namaste to football. With all we’ve been hearing lately about Christianity in sports, it’s so refreshing to see something, well, a little different.

More on Arian Foster:

• “#occupy The Playoffs” (SI)
• “Arian Foster bows to show respect” (ESPN)
• @ArianFoster (He’s the rare professional athlete who is interesting on Twitter!)
• “Arian Foster Says His Hamstring Injury is Just ‘Anti-Awesomeness’ at Work” (Business Insider)