Hit by a Pitch

Archive for the ‘MLB’ tag

If you don’t know now you know: DeWayne Wise

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Guess which old friend plays for the Florida Marlins and is in Denver right now? DeWayne Wise. If you don’t know who DeWayne Wise is, he’s the guy who made a spectacular catch during the ninth inning of Mark Buehrle’s perfect game on July 23, 2009.

Here’s an MLB video (click to watch it on mlb.com if it’s not working here) and a boisterous fan video of the catch. Good times!


Written by Tracy

August 15th, 2011 at 9:18 pm

I’ll miss Ubaldo.

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Sox vs. Rockies

I’m very sad about the Rockies trading Ubaldo Jimenez. My bad feelings are fourfold:

1. I love Ubaldo. As a Rockies fan, I feel like I’ve watched him grow up, as cheesy as that is. He grew up and then went, well, to Cleveland. And that’s no good for anybody. (Just kidding, people of Cleveland. I’m only lashing out at you because of my pain. Love ya!)

2. He went to one of two teams in the American League Central that is marginally interested in winning the division and is not the White Sox. This means Ubaldo, my pal, has become the enemy. This is confusing and, well, sad.

3. The Rockies organization has been atrocious at evaluating young talent and it’s impossible to say at this point whether the prospects they received in exchange for Ubaldo will pan out. We have to wait and see, and what the hell fun is that?

4. Imagine you’re in a relationship with someone who is smokin’ hot. We’ll call her Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue model Irina Shayk. One night after dinner, you’re sitting around drinking a beer and watching Teen Mom, and she says to you:

Hey, you know what? For the rest of the year, I’m going to stop working out. Instead, I’ll spend hours a day eating mounds of cheese dipped in the container of deep-fryer grease we store under the sink. I’m not going to shower for, like, a month at a time, and I’ll wipe the grease from my fingers in my hair instead of using napkins. Oral hygiene will be optional. My wardrobe will consist entirely of floral house dresses and filthy slippers. I’ll fart all the time and when I’m not farting, I’ll speak in painstaking detail about my menstrual cycle. Also, I’ll pick my nose and wipe the boogers on the living room wall. I’ll start chewing tobacco, which I will spit in the bowling trophy you won in high school.

By trading Ubaldo, that’s pretty much what the Rockies are doing for the rest of this season. They’re letting themselves go. As fans, we’re in a relationship with the Rockies so I guess we’re still supposed to care about them and stuff, but I cannot tell a lie. It’s hard for me to love you when you don’t love yourself. I understand what they see in mounds of cheese, but the rest of this season is going to be pretty stupid.

Written by Tracy

August 1st, 2011 at 7:47 pm

Friday Night Fun

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We're watching the White SoxSorry about the crappy Photo Booth picture, but look at how much fun we’re having watching tv on my computer. (Although let’s be honest, he was kind of more excited about looking at himself in Photo Booth.) What were we watching?

This is what we're watching.The White Sox game, of course. I used to say I wouldn’t try to influence Soren in matters of baseball so that one day, should he so choose, he could pick his own favorite team. I give myself credit for lasting almost 21 months (!) in that endeavor. It’s just too much fun to park a toddler in your lap and explain the game to him. I tell him about everything — players, who’s doing well and who’s sucking, and (of course) Hawkisms. I can’t wait until one day Soren looks me in the eye and says, “He gone!”

Long story short, if sharing your love of your favorite baseball team with your kid is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

Written by Tracy

July 22nd, 2011 at 7:43 pm

What to do During the All-Star Break

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Sox vs. RockiesFor the next three days (!) there’s no baseball. Well, there’s baseball-related stuff like the Home Run Derby (I usually love the Home Run Derby, but this year’s Home Run Derby is 50% Brewers and Red Sox. In related news, bite me.1) and the All-Star Game, which I’ll probably watch because by then I’ll be experiencing sudden and severe mental or neurological changes as a result of not having seen a baseball game in, like, days.

If you’re not into the All-Star festivities and are looking for something else to do during the break, I’ve got your back. Here are my suggestions.

  • Get outside and do something, dork.
  • Party like an All-Star. In the alternative, party like Adam Pacman Jones (neck brace optional).
  • Use this three-day period to develop a new skill to the best of your ability. Examples include baking cheesecakes or pies, quilting, or learning how to swear in a foreign language.2
  • Have your own Home Run Derby. I might bust out my Konerko (Paul Star!) jersey and go to town with the really old version of The Bigs we have (I’m not very good at hitting actual balls with actual bats).
  • Figure out what exactly the hell we’re supposed to be doing with Google+.
  • Figure out how to get rid of bindweed.
  • Try to throw a no-hitter while on LSD.
  • Throw a Twitter party. (Just kidding. Don’t do that.)
  • Try that no-tv-watching thing smug people are always talking about.
  • Write your own Dugouts.
  • Watch women’s soccer. It’s actually really awesome! USA plays France on Wednesday at 10 a.m. MDT. Also, two out of three people in our house agree that Alex Morgan is pretty hot (the third doesn’t care about these things yet).
  • Write a story about what would happen if you met your favorite current or former MLB player. What? That’s not weird.
  • Watch video (or line drawings, if you’re a Cubs fan) of the last time your team won the World Series. I’m going to be partying like it’s 2005 up in this hizzouse for the next three days.

1. Apparently this year, the format of the Home Run Derby changed such that each league has a team captain and each team captain selects the four participants for his team. The AL captain is David Ortiz and the NL captain is Prince Fielder, so I guess they each selected a teammate. This is unbearably lame.
2. Every once in a while, I get a bee in my bonnet about learning how to swear in a foreign language. This results in looking shit, er, mierda, up on the internet. One time, I found a site that listed swears/insults in various languages and one of the Lithuanian insults (Beware: you may rightly be offended if you click that link) was “Let the hedgehog appear in your pants.” I’m still working out how to insert that into everyday conversation. Do people in Lithuania actually go around saying let the hedgehog appear in your pants? If so, they’re even more awesome than I thought.

Written by Tracy

July 11th, 2011 at 10:09 am

Posted in and life,MLB,Sports,The Bigs

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Going to a Game Alone

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Last Wednesday, I went to the White Sox/Rockies game alone.

That’s kind of weird, right? As it turns out, not really. I actually had a pretty awesome time.

I don’t usually go to sporting events by myself, but last week, it just made sense. It was a few days before my spending fast went into effect. It was my favorite team (that doesn’t come to town often) in the world. I knew seeing the White Sox from our mediocre guys-night-out seats on Tuesday wouldn’t be enough. I was ready for a night out without the kid, and I’m more into sports than traditional girls’ night out stuff. I was more interested in seeing my team than socializing. So what the hell?

TJ Hoochmandzadeh

If all else fails, dress up like TJ Hoochmandzadeh.

The good news is that, because I was buying only one ticket, I got an awesome seat at almost the last minute, at face value. (For Rockies games, you can now see available seats when you’re buying online. There were a few great single seats left; two seats together were in less-awesome locations.)

I rolled up to the game during the first inning. I didn’t plan to be late (that’s just, apparently, how I roll) but that ended up being a good thing because I didn’t have to worry about entertaining myself before the game started (honestly, all the pre-game crap bores me). I found my super-awesome seat (Section 135, Row 15, Seat 3) and had a great time with a bunch of strangers. My team even won!

Here are my tips for solo game attendance:

  • If you’re cool, chance are other people will be cool. This applies especially if you’re like me and you come representing the visiting team. I was lucky and had a seat near other White Sox fans. (They came from New Mexico just to see the Sox!) It was like having instant game friends — we were high-fiving each other and carrying on like the big giant dorks we are as if we’d known each other for years. We all laughed when Rockies fans made fun of us and I fist bumped Rockies dude who fist bumped everybody when the Rockies did something good and even a Cubs fan on the way out (he was all, “Hey! There’s a Sox fan!”).
  • Drink beer if you want. Don’t drink beer if you don’t want. Do whatever you’d normally do but probably don’t get shitfaced.
  • Don’t count on listening to the game on headphones. I’d hoped to totally dork out by listening to the White Sox radio broadcast on the MLB app, but the broadcast lagged way behind the live action — the count would be 1 ball and 2 strikes, and the radio broadcast had the guy just coming to the plate. It was too annoying so I gave up. A local radio broadcast might be more timely.
  • If it makes you feel more comfortable, have something to do in addition to watching the game. I was too excited to worry about feeling awkward, but I also kept busy by taking tons of pictures. You could keep score (I don’t even know how to do that), try to Shazam everybody’s walk-up music, or provide witty and insightful Twitter updates.
  • My theory is that the better the seat, the less likely you are to feel weird. It’s much easier to pay close attention to the game if you have a good seat. That means you’ll be able to pay close attention to the game and so will everybody around you. In my experience, you’re less likely to be around a big group of people getting wasted when you’re in the good seats (that said, those can be fun, too — it’s just a different scene).
  • Realize you’re not the only one. I did it and had fun! And I’m not the only White Sox fan to go to the game by myself. (Another tip: If you’re looking for other fans of an out-of-market team, check message boards. I didn’t think to do this ahead of time but if I had, I could’ve met even more White Sox fans who came in just for the games.)
  • Have fun and remember nobody is as worried about how you look as you are!
Sox vs. Rockies

non-zoomed view from my seat

Written by Tracy

July 5th, 2011 at 9:34 pm

White Sox/Rockies Photos

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Written by Tracy

June 29th, 2011 at 11:08 pm

I’m going to see Mark Buehrle!

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One of my last expenditures before the spending fast kicks in was for one ticket to Wednesday’s Rockies/White Sox game at Coors Field. I got the best seat I could find for a price that didn’t make me cry (it’s much easier to find one ticket than two). Soren and Ben are staying home. I’m going to be that asshole who goes to the game by myself and acts a fool because Mark Buehrle is pitching. OMFG you guys, and it pains me to type “OMFG” here and make you read that kind of ridiculousness. Mark Buehrle is one of the last remaining Sox players who was there for the 2005 World Series. Mark Buehrle wishes Michael Vick would get injured (granted, Mark Buehrle also hunts so this is somewhat hypocritical, but still). I’m sitting kind of between home plate and the visitors’ dugout. OMFG you guys. This is one of the most exciting things, ever. I’ll take lots of pictures, because I believe that is the proper course of action when you go to a game by yourself like a big fat dork. (But seriously, I’d rather be a big fat dork at the White Sox game than go with Ben and my kid, no offense, because when you go to the game with a toddler, you don’t get to actually watch the game. And also no offense, but I can’t go with anyone who doesn’t love the White Sox, which is pretty much everybody I know, because then you just sit there and talk and don’t pay attention to the game.) OMFG you guys.

P.S. If you’re a White Sox fan in Denver and you’re going to the game on Wednesday, email me now!!!

Written by Tracy

June 23rd, 2011 at 10:12 pm