Hit by a Pitch

For some mysterious reason, I’m kind of obsessed with red velvet cake. I’ve only had it a few times and was never all that impressed with it because it doesn’t really taste like anything. I decided that making red velvet cupcakes that actually taste like something would be my baking project for January.

I hit up google and found this Smitten Kitchen recipe, which seemed good because she shared my issues with red velvet cake. Then I clicked the “adapted from” link to check out The New York Times red velvet cake recipe, which is exactly the same, word for word. (I noticed the same thing with her pineapple upside-down cake recipe, which, aside from omitting the cardamom, is an exact copy of the Gourmet recipe.) I thought it wasn’t cool to copy a recipe word for word, even if you link the original. What’s up with that?

Anyway, I followed the Times recipe exactly but for switching cake for cupcakes and using cupcake liners instead of butter and made the following high-altitude adjustments: decrease sugar to 1 1/2 cups plus 3 tablespoons and decrease baking soda to 1 1/2 teaspoons. I used this creamy vanilla frosting, which was kind of a lot of work but really good. Don’t cut this recipe in half — it didn’t result in the tragedy some commenters indicated but it wasn’t enough frosting. Also I recommend beating everything for longer than the recipe says — just a minute or two for the butter and butter and sugar and a good 5 minutes more at the end. The sugar granules went away after the 15-minute (exactly!) refrigeration.

So, if you’re in the market for good red velvet cake and coordinating frosting recipes, there you go!

Usually when I want peanut butter cookies, I bust out Ye Olde Mom’s Peanut Butter Cookie Recipe, which as all recipes of the Ye Olde Mom’s Series, was written on an index card in the days when I dotted my is (Okay, that’s just hard. I know it’s not correct to apostrophe i’s, but if you don’t, it looks like I’m saying “is.”) with circles. Also I insisted that “@” meant “about” and didn’t really capitalize. (I think that’s why, to this day, I have no patience for people who don’t capitalize. Come on, man, that’s for high school, early college at the latest if you fancy yourself the second coming of e.e. cummings or some shit.)

This is probably the same peanut butter cookie recipe everybody in the world has had since the dawn of time, except those people who make the peanut butter cookies with Hershey’s kisses on them, which are very good but if you ask me don’t really need the kisses.

This time, I wanted a peanut butter cookie that reflects my new obsession with putting peanut butter in my oatmeal, so I guess that would be peanut butter oatmeal cookies. I turned to Chef Google and found something that sounded awesome: “Peanut Butter Oatmeal Cookies.” The description did not disappoint: “These cookies contain peanut butter and oatmeal.” My midwestern sensibilities appreciate the adequate summary.

The recipe is here. I followed it but:

• I used 1 cup softened butter and 1/2 cup shortening. (My “I don’t bake with shortening!” stance has been softened by the delicious pie crust shortening makes.)
• I made the following high-altitude alterations: reduced sugar to 1 1/2 cup and reduced baking soda to 1 1/2 teaspoon; this worked well for this recipe.
• I used my cookie scooper, which is larger than a teaspoon.
• I was very half-assed about flattening the dough with a fork.
• I preferred a baking time of 11 minutes instead of 12. Oops, never mind. The next day, the cookies baked for 12 minutes tasted better.
• I put the dough in the refrigerator between batches to firm it up.

These are good! They’re not too sweet and they’re not as heavy as regular peanut butter cookies. The shortening gives them a hint of flakiness, which is kind of awesome. They taste a little healthier than regular peanut butter cookies (not saying they are, but they taste like it, but not in a bad way). I’ll be adding them to my dessert arsenal for sure!

The world probably doesn’t need another seven-layer salad recipe, but some of the ones I’ve seen out there are a little weird. White sugar? Parmesan? What? Here’s my vegetarian twist on my mom’s version, which, obviously, is the proper Midwestern mom version. She used to make this for Christmas Eve every year — it was an interesting accompaniment to an otherwise traditional Lithuanian meal. It’s a good thing to bring to potlucks because it’s huge, relatively easy, people generally eat at least a bit of it, and you can make it the night before. If you do the math, I think this should actually count as a 10-layer salad, but that just doesn’t sound right.

Seven-Layer Salad

Ingredients

• one head iceberg lettuce, shredded
• 1 green pepper, diced
• 2 stalks celery, finely diced (original calls for 1 cup, which I find overwhelming but I’m not a celery fan)
• 1 medium-to-large yellow onion, chopped
• 1 12-ounce package frozen peas (no need to thaw)
• 1 generous cup shredded carrots
• 2 cups mayonnaise (I use Best Foods light mayo, which is Hellmann’s east of the Rockies) not that light helps much in this situation because holy crap mayo)
• 2 tablespoons brown sugar
• 1 cup (or more — come on man, it’s cheese) shredded cheddar (preferably sharp)
• 4-6 hard-boiled (free range) eggs¹ (I just used 4 but think 6 would’ve been better), chopped
• 8-10 slices Morningstar Farms veggie bacon slices,² microwaved, cooled, and broken into bite-sized (or smaller, if you prefer) pieces (don’t cook this until right before serving the salad)

Directions

Layer all ingredients except veggie bacon into a gigantic (preferably glass or clear plastic) bowl in the order listed above, evenly distributing each item over the lettuce as much as possible. The mayo application is the trickiest part — I use a spoon to blop the mayo around the top of the salad and then a rubber scraper to spread it as if I were frosting a very delicate, weird cake.

Cover and put in the refrigerator. Chill for, ideally, at least 12 but no more than 24 hours. By the time you’re ready to serve, the peas will be thawed and the mayo and brown sugar will have been magically transformed into a delicious dressing with a complexity that belies its humble components (I exaggerate, but it is kind of cool).

At the last possible minute before you’re going to serve the salad, prepare and add the veggie bacon. This will help it stay crispy.

Enjoy your Midwestern mom food!

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Notes
1. To make perfect hard-boiled eggs (not soft!) at Denver altitude (5280 feet), do this: Bring a pot of water to a rolling boil. Add eggs right from the fridge (no need to bring to room temperature but be careful not to break them when you plop them in the water, like some people I know did the other day). Set a timer for 21 minutes. When the timer goes off, pour out the boiling water, put the pan in the sink, and let cold water run over the eggs until they’re cool. Peel. (Duh, but I try to be thorough.)
2. To prepare the veggie bacon, do this: Remove the package from the freezer and let it sit in a warm place for several minutes (this makes it easier to separate the strips, which stick together when they’re totally frozen). Place the desired amount of strips on a microwave-safe plate and microwave on high for 3 minutes. Move the strips on the inside of the plate to the outside and outside to inside and flip the strips over to help ensure even cooking. Microwave for 30-second intervals until the strips are as crispy as you like them (Ben is the veggie-bacon expert and says he does around 5 minutes total for that many strips because he likes them crispy and crispy is good for this salad — this is a longer cooking time than recommended on the package).

These are the cupcakes I made for Soren’s birthday. They were easy to make and everybody seemed to like them. Also, I’m pretty cautious about food safety and I’m happy to report that after the party, the leftover frosted cupcakes sat out (unrefrigerated) for a week and were less-than-super-fresh but still fine.

Cupcakes

Note: I doubled this.

Ingredients

1 cup white sugar (3/4 cup at altitude)
1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened
2 eggs (have them sit out with the butter)
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 3/4 teaspoons baking powder (1 1/4 teaspoons at altitude)
1/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup whole milk

Directions

Preheat oven to 350. Line a muffin pan with paper liners (one batch will make 12-15 cupcakes). In a medium bowl, sift together flour, baking powder, and salt. In a standard bowl on a stand mixer, cream together the sugar and butter for 8 minutes on medium-high (6 on a KitchenAid) (this is a long-ass time to cream butter and sugar but it’s worth it). As always, when mixing anything in a stand mixer, scrape the sides of the bowl, turning the mixer off when necessary, every couple minutes or so. Beat in the eggs, one at a time, beating (medium-high/6) for a minute or 2 after each egg. Add the vanilla and beat for another minute. With the mixer still running (turn down to 3 or 4), add some of the flour mixture alternately with the milk, a bit at a time (1/4 to 1/3 of each), beating until just incorporated. Remove bowl from mixer and scrape well, making sure you have everything mixed together.

Spoon the batter into the muffin pan and bake for 20-25 minutes (mine were perfect at 22 — they’ll spring back when touched).

Adapted from Simple White Cake Recipe on allrecipes.com.

Frosting

Note: I doubled this, too.

I used the Creamy Chocolate Frosting Recipe from allrecipes.com. I’m not a big frosting person but I liked it! My very slightly modified version of the recipe is as follows:

Ingredients

• 2 3/4 cups confectioners’ sugar
• 6 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder (I used Ghirardelli natural unsweetened cocoa)
• 1/8 teaspoon salt
• 6 tablespoons butter, softened
• 5 tablespoons whole milk
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions

In a medium bowl, sift together the confectioners’ sugar, cocoa, and salt. In a standard bowl on a stand mixer, cream butter for a few minutes (at medium-high/6). With the mixer still at medium-high, gradually add sugar mixture alternately with milk. Then add vanilla. Beat until light and fluffy — 3-5 minutes.

To frost the cupcakes, I used something that looks like this that I got at Target. It was the same price as the cheapest bag + tips and seemed like it would be easier. I’ve never used anything other than a knife to apply frosting and I thought it was super-easy to use. I added some nonpareils, too. The cupcakes didn’t look all that exciting, but they tasted pretty good.

Enjoy!

You guys. This has been the most boring weekend, ever. Yesterday, I almost wrote a post about how bored I was, but I realized it would be rude to inflict my boredom on you. I was so bored it took me 4 1/2 hours to drink two beers and then I was so bored I gave up on having another beer and figured I’d just sit around and wait until it was a reasonable time to go to bed. I spent the evening sitting on the couch, watching a college football game about which I did not care in the slightest, and putting dresses I’m not going to buy (spending fast!) in my Nordstrom cart (seriously OMG I need this and the color being my child’s middle name is only part of the reason have you ever seen anything so gorgeous I could wear it to beer fest and my kid’s second birthday party and holy crap that’s the most awesome dress, ever ever ever).

Today I’m being more productive and cooking some stuff. First up is granola. Do you know how ridiculously easy it is to make granola? It’s one of the easiest things in the world to make and homemade granola is way better than anything you’ll buy, which, by the way while we’re being honest, is probably totally overpriced. Second is pumpkin soup. If you read any healthy-living bloggers (I sometimes do this for snark value), you’re probably already sick of pumpkin. Don’t be! Pumpkin is delicious, and this soup is a fresh way of serving it that doesn’t rely on the usual suspects like cinnamon and allspice. Seriously, this soup is so good I could eat it every day for the rest of my life. I’m not even kidding. It’s one of my favorite things, ever.

For what it’s worth, the granola and the soup earned the Soren Seal of Approval. And yes, a toddler eating soup is just as terrifying as you might imagine.

Recipe: Cherry Granola

Ingredients

• 8 cups old-fashioned oatmeal (not quick cooking)
• 1 cup sliced almonds
• 1 cup slivered almonds
• 1 cup salted sunflower seeds
• 1 cup Grape Nuts cereal
• 1 cup vegetable oil
• 2/3 cup honey
• 1/4 cup brown sugar
• 8 to 10 ounces dried cherries

Directions

Put oatmeal, almonds, sunflower seeds, and Grape Nuts in a giant bowl and mix well. Put oil, honey, and brown sugar in a medium bowl. Mix well and microwave for 1 minute. Mix again. Pour over the dry ingredients and mix well. Spread on the biggest cookie pan you have and bake at 350 for 20 minutes, stirring well after 10 minutes. Allow to cool (somewhere other than on the stove — I think the heat contributes to stick-to-the-pan-itiveness). Add cherries and mix well.

Lightly adapted from Mary’s Cherry Granola, White Lace Inn, Door County, Wisconsin.

Recipe: Pumpkin Soup

Ingredients

• 4 tablespoons butter
• 1 medium onion, coarsely chopped
• 1 15-ounce can pumpkin (just plain pumpkin — not pie pumpkin with spices added)
• 3 cups vegetable broth
• 2 cups milk
• a conservative pinch of ground nutmeg
• 2-3 ounces (guestimate is fine and I probably use quite a bit more than this) thin whole wheat spaghetti, broken into small pieces
• 1/2 cup Parmesan cheese (the good kind, not the kind in the canister)
• salt and pepper to taste

Directions

First, grate the Parmesan cheese the lazy-people way — cut several chunks off your piece of cheese, throw them in the food processor with the default blade attachment, and process until the cheese is in uniform, small pieces. Remove from food processor and set aside. Put the coarsely chopped onion in the food processor and process until finely chopped. You want to make sure there are no big onion chunks. It’ll look like a wet, slushy mess.

In a large saucepan, melt the butter over medium heat. Add the onion and cook, stirring occasionally, for two minutes. Stir in the pumpkin and vegetable broth. Increase the heat to medium-high and bring to a simmer, stirring occasionally. Simmer for two more minutes. Decrease the heat slightly, to what could be referred to as medium-medium-high heat (if your stove has numbers like ours, you should be at 7). Stir in the milk and nutmeg (you don’t have to be conservative with the nutmeg — that’s just me, because honestly nutmeg kind of freaks me out). Bring the soup to a boil and then add the spaghetti. Cook until the noodles are done (for me, this took 7 minutes at medium-medium-high heat; keep in mind I’m at high altitude, so you might need a little less time). Turn off the burner and stir in the Parmesan cheese plus salt and pepper to taste. Serve immediately, preferably with some delicious, crusty bread.

Adapted from Vegetarian: The Best-Ever Recipe Collection by Linda Fraser. The original recipe calls for fresh (not canned) pumpkin. I’m sure this is even more delicious than my version, but I’m nothing if not lazy. Plus I have approximately 90 cans of pumpkin I hoarded last fall when I thought I wouldn’t be able to find pumpkin in the pumpkin off season, which proved to be false and I didn’t make that many pumpkin loaves, anyway.

Enjoy!